# Summing up Costa and its new ad



## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

In the Grauniad in saturday's guide (and merely a coincidence that it appeared in the same weekend as Cup North):

The only reason anyone in the UK has gone into a Costa Coffee since the year 2003 is because they were desperate for a crap. It's not hard to see why. Their shops mix the upholstery of the Northern Line with coffee that tastes like dishwasher runoff. In good old 2015, no one walks down a high street stuffed with Prets, Starbucks and nice independent places with shiny baristas named Gabriel and thinks: "I know, let's pretend we're in an airport departure lounge and go to a Costa."

Costa is the Noel Edmonds of coffee shops: once quite popular but now more likely to make you contemplate the inevitability of death. Which is presumably why it's made an upbeat new Marks & Spencer-type coffee-porn advert. It's all tight shots of glistening crockery, satisfying hisses from gleaming machinery, and hot air from some inane commentary. Meaningless truisms such as "who makes your flat white is what makes your flat white" and "hand-crafted to perfection" are used to persuade you that Costa is a place that really cares about coffee. Except, if you think about it, every coffee you've ever bought has been "hand-crafted".

In fact, if the advert had said their coffee was "bum-crafted" people would be much less likely to glaze over and much more likely to buy one. Or, at the very least, pop in to see how they steam the milk. At the end of the advert we find out exactly "who" was making our flat white. It was a nice young lady named Yasmien from a Costa in St Andrews. I'm really sorry Yasmien, but when people go to a Costa it's not for a flat white, it's for a lumpy brown.

Edward Tew

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2015/nov/07/costa-coffee-new-advert


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Good lord how do they get away with that? ! Of course I'd take an indy over a chain any day but if I was walking down a street and there was no Gabriel, just Costa or Starbucks, I would swerve *bux and go Costa every time. Costa is maybe run of the mill crowd pleaser stuff, but not as burnt and rank as the green mermaid's 'bum crafted' offerings.

I'm slightly surprised that a professional journo can get away with being quite that scathing however.

If I really needed the loo there's always a MacD.


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## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

Agree - and honestly who buys pret coffee!? My goodness. Incredible.

I can drink filter from most places when I get desperate for caffeine but Starbucks and Pret are top of the 'avoid' list.


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## DavecUK (Aug 6, 2013)

Guys...PLEASE..stop calling the stuff they produce coffee....it's not.

P.S. Shamefully in desperation last year after a 5 hour traffic nightmare coming back from Norfolk I pulled in the motorway services and had a cup of starbucks (americano)...urgh, comp[lained, got served another specially made.....sipped it and quietly left it almost untouched on the counter.


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## RazorliteX (Mar 2, 2014)

I have my reservations about Costa and the rest but Pret-A-Manger is in a league of its own.

If I were to imagine what liquidised pigeon crap would taste like.. I suspect it would taste better than anything Pret-A-Manger has to offer, seriously has anyone ever tried their stuff? It is absolutely disgracefully disgusting.


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## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

RazorliteX said:


> I have my reservations about Costa and the rest but Pret-A-Manger is in a league of its own.
> 
> If I were to imagine what liquidised pigeon crap would taste like.. I suspect it would taste better than anything Pret-A-Manger has to offer, seriously has anyone ever tried their stuff? It is absolutely disgracefully disgusting.


Yep - truly awful.


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## Rob1 (Apr 9, 2015)

You'd think they'd tamp properly if they were going to show it over and over again.


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## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

On the more positive side, the Latte art in the video was pretty damn good.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

I dunno why people complain about them. It's McDonald's for the middle class ... People don't complain that the meat in a bigmac isn't a 28 day aged fillet ... It's a cheap assed burger joint, it's not even GBC

so why the hate for the chains, it is what it is .. You can take a 4y/o there, get a cake and a warm drink and not care if they drop food on the floor or make a noise.

it is what it is

edit, when I say drop food on the floor, I mean the 4y/o not the staff.

i love the costa near me ... A place I could push a baby buggy into, get a drink and chat with middle class young mums without feeling like I was in the way or causing distress to other patrons.

if you go there thinking you are going to get an award winning espresso.... Then it's you with the problems not them


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

RETRACTION;

no I take that back ... I remember now. I went to costa yesterday for lunch. I had Diet Coke, the wife had a tea .... Neither one of us wanted a coffee for obvious reasons


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

RazorliteX said:


> It is absolutely disgracefully disgusting.


they use a been to cup machine .... It wouldn't taste nice if they tried


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## PuFFaH (Aug 21, 2015)

Is this snobbery? A lot if people like their offerings so they must be satisfying/fulfilling a need. My only complaint against these vendors is TAX!


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## cold war kid (Mar 12, 2010)

I believe Costa pay their tax.

So the authenticity of this is rubbishing Costa while bigging up Starbucks and pret ?That is truly hilarious.


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

hotmetal said:


> Good lord how do they get away with that? ! Of course I'd take an indy over a chain any day but if I was walking down a street and there was no Gabriel, just Costa or Starbucks, I would swerve *bux and go Costa every time.


Could you just not have a coffee instead? I don't get people who have to have coffee at all costs. You might want to seek help for an addiction if that's the case.

There's a time and a place for McDonalds btw. Sausage and egg McMuffins are one of life's great pleasures.


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## NickdeBug (Jan 18, 2015)

Article sort of lost credibility with the comparison to Charbucks.

Whilst often a bit hit and miss, Costa is miles better than the coffee at Starbucks for no other reason than their beans are capable of tasting like coffee.

As mentioned above, I though MacDs was the venue of choice for an emergency crap. It certainly was when I went Interailing around Europe in 1990.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

I'm only saying (in contrast to the journo) that Costa is better than Starbucks, where slightly mediocre is better than horrible. In point of fact I would probably just not bother, as you say. But if you think McDs is a treat I'd deffo have a word with someone!


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

20 chicken nuggets. MMMMMmMMMM


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## Jumbo Ratty (Jan 12, 2015)

I think costas is OK, better than some independent coffee shops ive been to.

as for the guardian, what a pile of shite they come out with.

They did open their own coffee shop, didnt last long and got awful reviews. IIRC the tables had built in Ipads, the service was meant to be lamentable


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

I went to that a couple of times, cakes were good, Nude roasted their beans but it was uber hipster with iPads on the tables and infographics projected all over the walls


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

The grauniad is capable of writing shite when it comes to a lot of things including coffee (let's throw in the Observer as well, with Jay Rayner's offerings on coffee). Straightforwardly, Edward Tew's piece made me laugh.


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## roaringboy (Jun 14, 2014)

If you're desperate, then out of all the chains, Costs is definitely the best round here. My main concern is that they seem to think a flat white comes in a 20oz bucket.


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## djedga (Apr 22, 2015)

roaringboy said:


> If you're desperate, then out of all the chains, Costs is definitely the best round here. My main concern is that they seem to think a flat white comes in a 20oz bucket.


Agreed. I had one at the weekend. Tasted of nothing. Art was nice though!


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

djedga said:


> Art was nice though!


What, you mean their 'bean' logo stencilled onto dry foam with a chocolate powder shaker and a piece of tin plate?


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## djedga (Apr 22, 2015)

hotmetal said:


> What, you mean their 'bean' logo stencilled onto dry foam with a chocolate powder shaker and a piece of tin plate?


Nope actual latte art, perfectky steamed milk, very nice polished rosetta. Cup size was way too big for a flatty and also shame about the coffee ...


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## djedga (Apr 22, 2015)

ps am in a Chicago suburb with work at the moment.

Coffee options consist of dunkin donuts, starbucks and the mr. coffee machine in my hotel room (the only option I have taken so far).

Been awake since 3am and I would murder a terrible Costa right now!


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

djedga said:


> ps am in a Chicago suburb with work at the moment.
> 
> Been awake since 3am and I would murder a terrible Costa right now!


Isn't this the kind of language that will get Homeland Security breaking down your door?


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

Yes !!! But I believe the colloquial term is "ricans " not costas ... So he will be fine


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## djedga (Apr 22, 2015)

It's ok I had additional checks at the gate at Heathrow. Thought I might have had an upgrade when my boarding pass wouldn't print but was just a pat down and a bag search.


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## djedga (Apr 22, 2015)

Is this really what it's come to? Still the pods were in a jute bag so it must be good..









In fairness not the worst hotel coffee ever and I need to stay awake long enough to eat and not wake up in the middle of the night...


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## RazorliteX (Mar 2, 2014)

I have become a right coffee snob lately, every coffee I get be it a chain, train station or even one in a meeting room I often mutter this tastes like crap compared to what I make. Don't even realise I'm doing it half the time until a colleague/friend rolls their eyes at me or raises an eyebrow.


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

djedga said:


> It's ok I had additional checks at the gate at Heathrow. Thought I might have had an upgrade when my boarding pass wouldn't print but was just a pat down and a bag search.


 Ah, so you haven't tried to get back home yet


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## djedga (Apr 22, 2015)

Phil104 said:


> Ah, so you haven't tried to get back home yet


Very good point..

Still I don't fly till Saturday evening and have managed to transfer to a downtown hotel tonight so may have more luck finding a good coffee tomorrow!


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Good luck - and I'm sure you will have done your own research and since my geographical knowledge of Chicago is zero, this might be no use whatsoever (although there might be something more useful you have already found and/or is on sprudge:

http://sprudge.com/chicago-a-guide-to-good-coffee-off-the-606-83403.html


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## djedga (Apr 22, 2015)

About to jump in a taxi I think first stop after checking in will be Bow Truss which seems to be well regarded and there is one nearby!


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## RazorliteX (Mar 2, 2014)

Actually I should have added that not all of the chain stores are that bad. I usually frequent Coffee Shop Number #1 which is near where I work and they consistently do a good Costa Rica drip coffee.

Also prefer the "homeliness" of the place whereas with Costa/Nero etc it is just another commercial coffee shop.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

Yup ... I am a coffee #1 fan as well .... Swear at least 5% of my body fat cones from their Portuguese tarts .... The only thing I don't like about them is the mincepies are waaaay too big


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## RazorliteX (Mar 2, 2014)

h1udd said:


> Yup ... I am a coffee #1 fan as well .... Swear at least 5% of my body fat cones from their Portuguese tarts .... The only thing I don't like about them is the mincepies are waaaay too big


Actually I'm heading your way (Bristol) this Tuesday, the only reason I agree to these meetings is because there is a train change at Romsey. A somewhat forlorn quiet station with this small shed on the end that sells coffee. The coffee is pants but the proprietor sells what can be best described as "Sweet Mince Crumble" squares. The word epic doesn't even begin to describe these.

I'm on a very strict training progamme and diet at the moment and the only exception I make to this are these pies (one per week) - my mouth is watering just thinking about them now!


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

RazorliteX said:


> Actually I should have added that not all of the chain stores are that bad. I usually frequent Coffee Shop Number #1 which is near where I work and they consistently do a good Costa Rica drip coffee.
> 
> Also prefer the "homeliness" of the place whereas with Costa/Nero etc it is just another commercial coffee shop.


I'd never heard of coffee #1 before and found the opportunity to visit the one in Newbury today. Nice place and I had a pleasant Costa Rica clever coffee dripper, thanks!


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