# The Complete Uxbridge Coffee Dictionary



## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

In the spirit of 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' I propose we create our own Coffee Dictionary to provide clear definitions for coffee terminology that does not sound like what it ought to mean. For example:

Flat White - the absence of any Farrow & Ball paint

Extraction - hospital treatment for a former partner with multiple broken bones

Please submit your suggestions for inclusion below. Multiple definitions for the same term are permitted.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Pre infusion - that brief moment of calm before the needle goes in

WDT - van courier speak for regulation number of revolutions to impart upon a parcel marked fragile before it hits the deck

Fines - small penalty


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## 4085 (Nov 23, 2012)

Spro, tosser language for espresso

Cappuccino, drink for monkeys

Rocket, aspirational thoughts for Silvia owners


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## DaveP (Jul 14, 2017)

Mornington Crescent (no explanation ... avid listeners of the shipping forecast will understand)


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Naked portafilter : Device that is used, typically in high class hotels, to ensure that the guy who carries your luggage to your room is actually wearing his uniform.


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## Rakesh (Jun 3, 2017)

PID: Pelvic Inflammatory Diesease an infection of the female upper genital tract (usually caused by consuming too much instant coffee).


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Niche Grinder. : Machine used to hollow out a shallow recess in the wall...... in order to display a vase of flowers, a small statue or suchlike.


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## Flibster (Aug 15, 2010)

Tamper - Yorkshire picnic carrying device.


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

OCD acronym for obsolete c*** detection - Women who despite years of heartache still go for 'bad boys'


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

E61 - 'Electric 61' a boy band group playing their new single 'head' to an enthusiastic pair of retired farmers in Dorset


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

Weigh in weigh out, new TV programme on channel 5 the tagline being 'big poo, big win'


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

V60 - Jeremy Clarkson's dream engine.


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Bripe - the act of moaning about a poor brew


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## Lefteye (Dec 30, 2014)

Coffee. The bill charged by a doctor for seeing you with a cold


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## Lefteye (Dec 30, 2014)

Ristretto. The flourish at the end of a pour in latte art


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Americano - tourist from north of the Mexican border


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Hottop - it's summer, no need for a vest

Thermal block - need to bleed your radiator


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Degassing - fart


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## 4085 (Nov 23, 2012)

Crema, for those dyslexic members......


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Moka Pot - to laugh at your child's pottery class project


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## 4085 (Nov 23, 2012)

Goldfinger.......for those with 007 aspirations

Londinium aprons.........nuff said

Home Baristas, Gaggia Classic owners


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Brika- someone worried about their Moka pot exploding


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Caffetiere - an expression of displeasure when receiving drink from barista


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## 4085 (Nov 23, 2012)

A Tulip, someone who appeared in Carry on Doctor and got confused with a thermometer


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## 4085 (Nov 23, 2012)

Microfoam, what you get when you shower with those stupidly small bars of soap hotels give you


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## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

Portafilter- gate next to station turnstile


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

Backflush - cheap home colon cleansing


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Vacuum breaker - extreme measures employed to get out of doing the hoovering.


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

Grouphead - you know...


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## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

Coffee grounds- plantation


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

igm45 said:


> Grouphead - you know...


So what's a saturated grouphead then?


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## Step21 (Oct 2, 2014)

Kalita Wave - secret hand signal amongst coffee cognoscenti.


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## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

Drip tray- the actual reality of mystery man in black delivering a box of chocolates to a woman on a yacht.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Continental roast - foreign muck


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Grinder: a website where you can come across new beans, old bean.


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## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

Back flush - any 5 playing cards placed face down


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Obnic said:


> So what's a saturated grouphead then?


When you have had to much


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Group brush- what is required to clean up aftet a saturated group head


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Thecatlinux said:


> Drip tray- the actual reality of mystery man in black delivering a box of chocolates to a woman on a yacht.


Clever Dripper.

That same chocolate delivery man after the abovementioned woman on yacht says "thanks for the chocolates, now let me help you out of those wet clothes. .."


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## 9719 (Mar 29, 2015)

Costa.....best not go down that route


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## Step21 (Oct 2, 2014)

Roaster - a general derogatory term eg. "he/she is a complete roaster"


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

coffeechap said:


> Group brush- what is required to clean up aftet a saturated group head


That

Was

Pure

Class


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Lever grab - when the action begins


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

TDS - totally dissolute spender - used to describe someone with chronic upgraditis.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Pallo Alto. A rallying cry often heard in South America when it's high time the grouphead was cleaned. Literal meaning 'up with the brush' e.g.

"Este café no me gusta Sánchez - Pallo Alto!"


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Gooseneck kettle- a boiling device use to acheive pain compliance


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Reverse Osmosis: controversial new therapy to help those afflicted by a rare syndrome where the sufferer persistently hears 70s songs in their head such as He Ain't Heavy, Crazy Horses, and Puppy Love. Critics of the therapy claim that being shut in the cupboard under the sink with a 2 bar water feed inserted into one's orifice can be traumatic. Others claim that this is preferable to the symptoms and extreme circumstances require extreme measures.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Aeropress - chocolate bar shaper


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Lever - advice given to mate with bad girlfriend

Grinder Retention - keeping the contact details of website hookups

Europiccolo - short continental flautist


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Puck! - expletive used on tasting a sink shot


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Vanilla syrup - sweet scented treatment for hair loss


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Hopper: a person who shows no loyalty to a particular roaster, preferring to 'hop' from one bean or supplier every month. Also known an an RSOL, or bean whore. cf. LSOL, DSOL, 12RC etc.


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## 9719 (Mar 29, 2015)

Acme Mighty large spotted youth


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Cafè au Lait - missed appointment at the coffee shop

Mouthfeel - dental exploration


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

coffeechap said:


> Vanilla syrup - sweet scented treatment for hair loss


Usually met with ridicule from one's more hirsute coffee friends, who will tell you to "Quit yer Monin"


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

High grown - words uttered upon meeting someone . . . And noticing their Nespresso machine


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Notneutral: vessels designed to hold liquids with a pH value of less than 7.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

French press. torture device invented in 1789. It was filled with boiling water and coffee grounds and suspended above captured monarchists as a method of interrogation. The hot liquid would splash onto the victim's nether regions, whereupon they would exclaim "après moi le deluge" (tip the rest on the next guy).


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Acme cups - teenage skin treatment


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Glass hopper - young king fu student (said in native tongue)


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## 9719 (Mar 29, 2015)

Temp tag - hot and cold fun for the playground


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## DaveP (Jul 14, 2017)

Deleted.


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Channeling - wearing expensive French perfume

Channeling - frequent travel to and from the continent

Flat Burr - a cold apartment


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## PaulL (May 5, 2014)

Macciato - the art of exposing one's finest from a closed raincoat to unsuspecting ladies


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## PaulL (May 5, 2014)

Refractometer - enthusiast who takes longer to produce a shot than to drink it


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Cold press - hug from an Eskimo


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## DaveP (Jul 14, 2017)

9 Bar - A very tall gate


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## Rakesh (Jun 3, 2017)

Burr - Onomatopoeic word usually used after a really cold coffee.


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## Rakesh (Jun 3, 2017)

Flat white - Used to describe a Caucasian with a small cup size.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

9 bar pressure - Friday night pub crawl


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

MildredM said:


> High grown - words uttered upon meeting someone . . . And noticing their Nespresso machine


It's taken me all afternoon to 'get' that. I need to sharpen up!


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

9 bar: coffee lovingly prepared with a lot of THC.


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## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

Descale - removal of dead dried skin

Wand tip - ...... not sure if I dare try explain this one


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

Sette - a short sofa


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

igm45 said:


> Sette - a short sofa


Hohoho!!!!


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Group seal - aquatic animal with mono phobia


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## PaulL (May 5, 2014)

Doppio - latin cousin of the 7 dwarves


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## PaulL (May 5, 2014)

Lungo - regurgitating a shot that went down the wrong way


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Single Basket. : Obsessive compulsive coffee nerd whose online dating profile generates zero matches.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Rave coffee - beverage drunk at music festival


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## 9719 (Mar 29, 2015)

Monolith - geological feature consisting of a single massive rock and or ...... doorstop


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Distribution Tool. : The van driver who delivered my beans to the wrong address !


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## Jumbo Ratty (Jan 12, 2015)

3 hole tip

What a prostitute has to work hard for


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Jumbo Ratty said:


> 3 hole tip
> 
> What a prostitute has to work hard for


That's filthy!


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Aergrind. A suggestive dance move involving hip rotation and thrusting, akin to 'twerking'. Etymology: cf "air guitar" and "bump'n'grind". Knock? Not 'arf!

Hausgrind: marital congress between consenting adults in the privacy of their own home.

Feldgrind: a more adventurous and public version of Hausgrind 'al fresco'


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

Hand grinder, an ancient Chinese torture instrument


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

Microfoam - indulge your senses with our tropical forest lungo fruit bubble bath


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

Tasting notes, an edible ring binder


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## PaulL (May 5, 2014)

Cupping - the dogging equivalent pursued in dark car parks by coffee geeks


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Bella Barista - a good looking Italian legal advocate


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## PaulL (May 5, 2014)

Spritzing - coffee tasting where only German is allowed to be spoken


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Eureka - foreign for 'please have a bath'

Expobar - a drinking establishment where bottomless leather chaps are de rigeur.

Keepacup - the act of retaining evidence of having 'pulled'


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Coffeechap- a blister from pulling your lever too much

(Ooh I'm gonna pay for that one but it was worth it! )


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## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

Latte art - the best way to tell if coffee tastes nice or not


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## johnealey (May 19, 2014)

Lever Legend- Someone not afraid to perform the "fellini" move in public with the lights on









(Suspect also going to pay for that one)


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Pour (adjective) Descriptive of coffee buff who has bought rather too much coffee making gear.

Coffee Buff: That first coffee of the day consumed before getting dressed

Portafilter: Means by which one ensures there is no cork in the after dinner drink

Basket: Expletive heard from more genteel types when the coffee machinery fails


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Dose: Malady caught from coffee made with unclean equipment


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Starbucks: A word of foreign origin so in this case the "St" is pronounced "Ch". Denotes burnt flavours in all coffee types


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Coffee - throat clearing payment


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Nescafé - coffee shop for monsters


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Puly caff - coffee shop with free wifi and bathing facility


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

Urnex - successful divorce


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## 9719 (Mar 29, 2015)

Made by Knock - a long time coming


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## Stanic (Dec 12, 2015)

Siphon brew - beer drunk while bending forward


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## Tewdric (Apr 20, 2014)

Fellini: accidental immersion in a particularly large cappuccino.


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## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

Washing station - public swimming pool


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## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

Coffee forum - trying to remember Recipient of a drinks order .


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## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

Distribution -

to be unrespectful to three people then to scare them and finaly ignore them


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Bialetti Moka - purchase a girl called Letty and then make fun of her


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Rocket - a bit like a briquette made from rock


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Rocket - shake machine back and forth (to remove air locks etc)


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Decent - remove all traces of perfume


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## 9719 (Mar 29, 2015)

Pullman - form of torture


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## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

Milk pitcher - part of a dairy advertising team


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## Jacko112 (Oct 29, 2015)

Tamper - somewhere in the US


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

RDT - robust Assam cuppa


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Bar towel - Homer Simpson's pet owl


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Compak - ready filled suitcase


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Rancilio - Ow! Look at that daft jogger!


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Peaberry : Coffee bean with an above average tendency to cause the need to urinate.

Dripper : One who has drunk too much coffee brewed from Peaberry.

Dripper Stand : Legs akimbo....... the give away stance of a Dripper.

Wet Process : Inevitable outcome for a Dripper.

Patio Dried : Desired outcome, post Wet Process.

Clever Dripper : A Dripper who, sensibly, wears padded, absorbent under crackers.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Hausgrind- up close and personal dance to 90s club music


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

OE lido- Alabama woman talking about her cheating husband, usually followed by- Dat ODB


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Snakehips said:


> Peaberry : Coffee bean with an above average tendency to cause the need to urinate.
> 
> Dripper : One who has drunk too much coffee brewed from Peaberry.
> 
> ...


Fab! But . . . I think you will find the original meaning of 'Peaberry' to be the act of placing peas in the soil and tapping soil on top.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Heirloom: a manual weaving device for making coffee 'syrups'. See also "Quit yer Monin".


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Caturra. A variety of coffee plant, the fruit of which when consumed has bean known to cause coughing and difficulty breathing.


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Harrar ! : A joyous exclamation following the successful brewing of a Natural Ethiopian.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Toddy - today, i'nt it?


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Stovetop Espresso : Unfortunate spillage by clumsy home barista.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

WDT. Abbreviation for Wendelboe Drinks Tea. A natural result of being good at making coffee, leading to a tendency to avoid ordering coffee when out for fear of disappointment. By extension, "to have the WDTs" is ssid of a coffee addict so far gone that they get the shakes when ordering coffee in any unfamiliar establishment.

VST. Very Strong Tea, with an unnaturally high refractive index when analysed. A spoon in a mug of this appears bent when viewed from above, and actually *is* bent when you remove it from the mug, such is the power of VSTea.


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## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

Expresso - curse word used by non-coffee enthusiasts. Often causing severe irritation among coffee lovers.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Cortado - Yorkshire's Homer Simpson wicket keeper (you are going to have to think about this one)


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Turkish Coffee - The price paid by Turks for their kishcoffs


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Micro lot - My small car park for corvids


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

MildredM said:


> Turkish Coffee - The price paid by Turks for their kishcoffs


Kishcoffs! Crikey M that's tenuous!

Also, does it only apply to the Turkish community in Yorkshire?


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## Tewdric (Apr 20, 2014)

Finca: a philosophical Nicaraguan farmer.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

hotmetal said:


> Kishcoffs! Crikey M that's tenuous!


It IS page 14 (and I'm about at the bottom of the coffee pot now)!



> Also, does it only apply to the Turkish community in Yorkshire?


'appen


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Acid - James, Vicious, Poitier etc


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

MildredM said:


> Cortado - Yorkshire's Homer Simpson wicket keeper (you are going to have to think about this one)


Oooor that took too long for me to get - feeble minded me.

Love it.


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Free pour - gratis refill at American diner

Foundry - something discovered not wet


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Hario: the coffee detective

Drip: the incessant musings of a coffee enthusiast

Siphon (syphon): Coffee enthusiasts go to choice of mobile

Burrs: means to grind cold brew


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Second crack - really working that whip


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Retention: The ability not to dash to the toilet after drinking coffee


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Skinny - when you fall off your bike


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

CBB Damage - beans ruined from watching too much children's TV


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Bean probe - I understand this has something to do with men, prostates and their doctor, or something.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

One for the home Roasters . . . .

Extractor fan - one who used to like farm machinery


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## DaveP (Jul 14, 2017)

Stir Crazy .. watching beans roast


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Aroma - gypsy


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## DaveP (Jul 14, 2017)

MildredM said:


> Aroma - gypsy


No new entry, but just to say to    that it was very funny and I got it, lol


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Aroma- in Rome


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Astringent - man made from rope


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## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

MildredM said:


> Astringent - man made from rope


Just ! Haha


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Carbonate: Consumption of burnt barbecue offerings


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Titan: Mildred sunning herself, topless


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

grumpydaddy said:


> Titan: Mildred sunning herself, topless


Some folk can be SO BRAVE behind their keyboards . . . .


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

I dare you not to think of this next time you grind beans


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Competition shower screen - EU trade policy of excluding American bleached chickens


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

grumpydaddy said:


> I dare you not to think of this next time you grind beans


bean2cup - stray shard from the grinder flying straight into brassiere


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Profile - executive nail implement


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Fragrant - sweet smelling tramp


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

MildredM said:


> Fragrant - sweet smelling tramp


Migrant: Get your own


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Shot Counter : Kitchen worktop which has collapsed under the weight of an r120.


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## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

Dosing chamber - small space in which to take naps.


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Flat White: Non Fizzy coffee with steamed milk


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

You know when you have to make teeny, tiny adjustments to your grinder . . .

Miniscule - a toddler's playgroup in Liverpool


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## Tewdric (Apr 20, 2014)

Single dosing: Unmarried liaison leading to a nasty little rash.

Bean hopper: Someone avoiding treading-in a Heinz spillage.

Metronome: Short bloke on the tube.

Hormone: No, forget it..


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Decent scales - aquatic skin slippage


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Brazilian : Removal of pubic hair by using special wax, which can be hot or cold, that adheres to hairs and pulls them out when the wax is removed.

Mysore. : Southern region state, following a Brazilian.

Short Black : Expected hair growth after 2 / 3 weeks. Often accompanied by severe itching.

Crema : To be rubbed onto skin in order to alleviate the discomfort of Mysore or Short Black.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

I can't beat that, Sneakhips although I do feel you should concentrate your mind on higher things

















Brazilian - more than a million brassieres

Mysore - a naturally occurring solid material underground created from the remains of mice

Short black - Yorkshire coast covered in, possibly diesel oil or similar, mucky substance

Crema - funeral director shorthand


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## Tewdric (Apr 20, 2014)

Rancilio: He went jogging in his pants in December.


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## Flibster (Aug 15, 2010)

My mind has been wandering and has gone to odd places...

Decaf - To reluctantly leave a coffee shop.

Flat white - Keira Knightley

Cupping - What Italian baristas spend far too much time doing to themselves.

Haiti - My opinion on natural coffee.

French Press - Something the Germans try every few years.

American Roast - What Kim Jong Un wants to achieve.

Timor - What my other half prefers to drink.


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Aeropress: Regional commuter flight

Compak: Oxymoron ( I measured one)


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## Tewdric (Apr 20, 2014)

Rocket: Airfix Boulder.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

VST- very simple! Taxing


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## 9719 (Mar 29, 2015)

Distribute - putting it about a bit


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Clever dripper: Incontinent with a degree


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Distribute (2) to talk bad about looky likey act


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Nutate - springtime staple

Nutation - salamanders from Eastern hemispheres


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

nespresso - coffee made from the droppings of giant Scottish water lizards / or the forced fart of a man pretending to be italian

Dolce gusto - the fart of a man pretending to be Italian

Tassimo - the silent fart of a man pretending to be Italian


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Lighter side of life: tales of a pyromaniac


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Nutate (2) - the modern modern gallery


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

coffeechap said:


> Nutate (2) - the modern modern gallery


That would be post-modernism then?


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Gravimetrics: How much sauce to put on your roast dinner


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Volumetrics: How loud it is


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Profile: Not the cheap Chinese one


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Slayer - Santa Claus' gang name


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Barista - girl with strong views about drinking establishments


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Camp Coffee - beverage favoured by Rylan Clark


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Descale : De fing wot we yooz fur wayin stuf.


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Group Seals: A target rich environment when you go clubbing


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## Stanic (Dec 12, 2015)

grumpydaddy said:


> Group Seals: A target rich environment when you go clubbing


heavy


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Lever - she's not worth it


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Mellow Birds - chilled out budgies


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Chaff - a German chav


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Bourbon - a biscuit


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Kochere - the other chairperson


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Geisha - musical theatre loving middle eastern royalty


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Harar - cheerful ethiopian


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## Jacko112 (Oct 29, 2015)

Mignon - a small yellow creature


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

*WDT: * or to give it it's full name, *Why Do That ?*, is a particular manifestation of coffee related OCD.

It involves the stirring / mixing of a dose of espresso ground coffee in the belief that it will improve extraction and taste in the cup.

Whilst there is little or no hard evidence that such a process is actually beneficial, sufferers or victims of WDT find it impossible to desist and remove this element from their espresso making routine...... in case it is.

Implements used for the stirring, range from the humble cocktail stick, through proprietary mini-whisks and a host of home made gizmos, to more expensive purpose designed tools.

Typically, victims who have lashed out an arm and a leg on tri-pronged tools with fancy wooden handles tend to be at the extreme end of the WDT spectrum.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Rice. Natural alternative to Grindz, often used in the mistaken belief it's good for your grinder. Better consumed with curry.

Reiss. Much more suitable for making coffee, but unlikely to clean your grinder for you.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Have we had Moka Express? Take the mickey out of a train.

Moka Pot - Taunt a kettle.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Titus - frugal Irishman


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## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

Coffee -Trying to discreetly ask for a recreational drug


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

dill piccolo: small coffee drink. usually very sour

Cappuccino : Flat hat worn by Italian composers

Mocha: according to the song, Minnie was the most prominent of drinkers


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Have we had cafetierre - a stack of coffee shops?


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Lever Spring - a forward plan to take said advice about poor girlfriend shortly after Valentines day.


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Blind Basket! - controlled outburst when cut up by spectacle wearing motorist.


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Foundry Coffee (part2) - when yesterday's puck is still in the basket the following morning.


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Behmor Brazen - advice given to shy lad trying to attract a girl.


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

In my mug - slang. To be annoyed by someone being obnoxious at close proximity to one's face. For example 'that tosser Has Bean In My Mug all week an' I've 'ad enough'.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Milk pitcher - portrait of a cow


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Café au lait - bull fighting barista


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Bar towel - without a towel


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Titan Conical - Madonna's bra


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Crikey Mildred you're on fire tonight! 4 crackers in a row!


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

hotmetal said:


> Crikey Mildred, 4 crackers in a row!


In under 60 seconds without a drink either


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Pour over - examine in detail


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Dosing scale - quality of sleep


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Adopt your finest eee-bah-gum northern accent for this one . . .

Probat - take temperature of cap in Yorkshire


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Macap - second northerners irritable response to first northerners unwelcome attempt to 'Probat'. For example 'away wi ya an' thee can leave Macap alone.'


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Super Jolly - overly cheerful


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## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

DTP - down to party!


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Coffee Forum : "Flat white - Debbie.......two skinny latte and a long black - Sam B. Ok, who's next please?"


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Decaffeination : Italy


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Snakehips said:


> Coffee Forum : "Flat white - Debbie.......two skinny latte and a long black - Sam B. Ok, who's next please?"


I don't get this . . .

But anyway, I love your signature!! Join the queue


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Immersion Brew : Coffee to be enjoyed whilst taking a bath.

Pour Over Coffee. : Coffee to be enjoyed whilst taking a shower.

Drip Coffee : Similar to Pour Over but with low mains pressure.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

It doesn't quite fit the format of this thread but I didn't know where else to put it.

My favourite single origin:

Finca Lava Nuvverone


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

MildredM said:


> I don't get this . . .


Dopey trainee reading the cups at Starbucks: 'Coffee for um [looks down and reads cup]'.


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Obnic said:


> Dopey trainee reading the cups at Starbucks: 'Coffee for um [looks down and reads cup]'.


Well spotted Ob.

Mildred is to be forgiven......... she's had a hard day !


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Snakehips said:


> @Mildred is to be forgiven......... she's had a hard day !


...but that's another thread


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Aha! So Obnic *has* been to Charbucks!

Off topic yet relevant (and true): the Hotmetalette is called Angeles. She went to Starbucks in Los Angeles. They asked her name. She told them. They spelt it wrong! I mean WTAF? She did actually have a go at them and ask whether the ability to spell the name of the city you work in shouldn't be some bare minimum requirement for employment there LOL!


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Third Wave : Final attempt to catch the waitress' eye before leaving to find another coffee shop.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Obnic said:


> Dopey trainee reading the cups at Starbucks: 'Coffee for um [looks down and reads cup]'.


Oh groan. It's only worth the one . . .


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Obnic said:


> ...but that's another thread


I can't even share, it's Highly Confidential.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Snakehips said:


> Well spotted Ob.
> 
> Mildred is to be forgiven......... she's had a hard day !


I don't know, being chained to an embroidery machine all day has it's benefits . . . . Sore wrists, aching rear with sitting down all day, and double vision with looking at all those stitches. A hard day indeed


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

MildredM said:


> I can't even share, it's Highly Confidential.


Salacious gossip abhors a vacuum


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Obnic said:


> Salacious gossip abhors a vacuum


Roughly tranlastes to . . . We will offer you a bribe, in my book


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Roast date - messing about on the river

Trying to keep it on topic!


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Roasting - genitalia trapped whilst operating a skiff


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Tulip: cup used in Dutch jam making process


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Snakehips said:


> Third Wave : Final attempt to catch the waitress' eye before leaving to find another coffee shop.


I actually want to get that put on a size L teeshirt!


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Aergrind. Lesson 1 in frightfully upper-class basic vertical navigation skills for posh would-be pilots.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

outer skin - term usually preceded by 'jumped' when one opens one's credit card statement following a particularly profligate month of coffee equipment purchases


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## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

Barista Express - Transport used to get to coffee classes


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Duo Temp Pro - A couple of stand-in scullers

Sage Oracle - All you ever needed to know about Paxo


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Kafatek: Native South African repair man


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Over extracted : No teeth left


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Coffeemate - forum friend

I am sure this must have cropped up before. I just used it in a text to a friend, as in: excuse me while I go chat with my Coffee-mates!


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Blonding : Doing or saying something dumb or stupid whilst making espresso.

Blonding is similar, in many ways, to muppetry but is more likely attributable to limited intelligence, rather than just being the product of a momentary lapse of concentration.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Snakehips said:


> Blonding : Doing or saying something dumb or stupid whilst making espresso.
> 
> Blonding is similar, in many ways, to muppetry but is more likely attributable to limited intelligence, rather than just being the product of a momentary lapse of concentration.


Good one! You mean like thinking is a good idea to pour water in the hopper to save time when making cold brew, rather than, say, forgetting the filter when making Aeropress due to semi-closed eyes and insufficient caffeine/blood concentration?


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

GICAR. Cigar enjoyed after dinner with a coffee by someone with dyslexia?


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Vacuum breaker: SWMBO - just after Dyson release a 'new and improved' model.


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

hotmetal said:


> ...pour water in the hopper to save time when making cold brew


Thats the 'Viz Top Tips for Making Coffee' thread.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Forum day - day set asdide for the enjoyment of naval beverage


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Rat tail :

Telling your partner that you won the newly appeared and expensive, piece of espresso equipment........ in a Forum day raffle.

Whereas, in truth, you bought it using the mortgage money and the kids Christmas present fund.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Christmas Pantomime - opening your much anticipated espresso machine and grinder on Christmas morning then spending the whole day dialling the grinder in, getting through vast quantities of beans, joining any forum with members daft enough to respond to your queries, forgetting to get the turkey in the oven because 'you're busy', falling out with your father-in-law when he suggests NesCaf would be quicker, using up all the milk attempting to steam milk silky enough to get out the pitcher without having to use a spoon, trying to find a shop open to buy more milk, repeating this all several times during the day, ringing your mate who just happens to be a solicitor to discuss your forthcoming divorce, finally getting a reasonable result in the cup, asking what the family would like to drink only to be told they would all like a latte please. What the heck does it matter WHAT goes in the cup if all you are going to do is add a pint of milk. Rushing out to the shop before it closes to buy more milk . . .


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## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

Bodum: Hope I can straighten 'em later


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

French press: Le Figaro


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Amnesia: Affogato.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Basket: Fruitcake.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Steaming: Hammered.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Pore over: carefully read the instructions that came with the V60.


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## IggyK (May 13, 2017)

Grinder: A gentleman's dating app.


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## IggyK (May 13, 2017)

Rakesh said:


> Flat white - Used to describe a Caucasian with a small cup size.


Could be a type of haircut as well


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Blonding: Debbie Harry lookalike.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Fines: State licensed extortion.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Puck: Mischievous elf (A Midsummer Night's Dream)


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

V60 : A series of thrusting, two-fingered gestures used to express anger or frustration during the coffee making process. A V60 is generally but not exclusively, directed at inanimate pieces of equipment.

Traditionally as the name implies, the series always used to comprise 60 thrusts delivered, ideally, at a rate of 1 per second.

Nowadays, there is far more flexibility in respect of number and timing but the underlying requirement that it be done with feeling, remains unchanged.

Typically, one might use a V60 after being sprayed with scalding hot espresso from a badly spritzing naked portafilter.

It's very much a question of personal preference but many would argue that a good V60 is best accompanied by a torrent of verbal expletives.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Overfilled Basket - I was reminded of this at the supermarket today. Of course, we all know it relates to 20g in an 18g basket.

Twin Spout - two comments in one post . . . Or far too many words in a single post, also known as spouting on and on . . .


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## Tewdric (Apr 20, 2014)

Segafredo: Video game in which the aim is to get chocolate frogs to cross the road.


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## Tewdric (Apr 20, 2014)

Have we had:

Cappuccino: Smart casual headgear.


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## craigsalisbury (Dec 8, 2017)

Pro tip: dont search urban dictionary for "flat white" lol


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Tewdric said:


> Segafredo: Video game in which the aim is to get chocolate frogs to cross the road.


That takes me back!


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Sowden: pigsty reserved for female pigs during their long gestation period.

During this period the males experience Bodum.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Cafeteria: where cafetieres like to hang out.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Chemex: Spandex with extra support.


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