# Things you shouldn't do with a coffee machine!



## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Can't help myself is following on from the milk in the coffee machine, what other things should you never do with a coffee machine

First on my list link it to your central heating as a booster


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## froggystyle (Oct 30, 2013)

Let your wife use it!

Got home yetserday to find it still turned on with a full portafilter of dried out coffee stuck to the gasket. Plus a bag of beans open.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Keep goldfish in the tank.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Make sweet sweet love to it..........


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

froggystyle said:


> Let your wife use it!
> 
> Got home yetserday to find it still turned on with a full portafilter of dried out coffee stuck to the gasket. Plus a bag of beans open.


Bag of beans left open - that's really serious - feel your pain.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Mrboots2u said:


> Make sweet sweet love to it..........


Isn't that illegal??


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

Did you see that thing in channel 5 called my car is my lover? Similar issues


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## 4515 (Jan 30, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> Make sweet sweet love to it..........


What goes on in the Boots household should stay in the Boots houshold


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## aaronb (Nov 16, 2012)

I heard a story once about a cafe using the steam wand to heat soup.

no, just no.

A few places around here do porridge which I guess is acceptable.


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## froggystyle (Oct 30, 2013)

You should never buy one with a lever, its just to much hassle!

run away.......


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

The Systemic Kid said:


> Isn't that illegal??


Only if there is no consent.....

Anyway i was thinking more of the Rocket owners and who often they say their machine is "pretty and beautiful..."


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## 4515 (Jan 30, 2013)

Fill the portafilter with cup-a-soup for a mid morning drink


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Mrboots2u said:


> Only if there is no consent.....
> 
> Anyway i was thinking more of the Rocket owners and who often they say their machine is "pretty and beautiful..."


Think they're referring to aesthetics....but I could be wrong.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

working dog said:


> Fill the portafilter with cup-a-soup for a mid morning drink


Lol gonna try that


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

aaronb said:


> A few places around here do porridge which I guess is acceptable.


What's their porridge art like??


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## aaronb (Nov 16, 2012)

The Systemic Kid said:


> What's their porridge art like??


will check next time. Smiley face with the cinnamon maybe?


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## DavidBondy (Aug 17, 2010)

I may have mentioned this before but there was a Spanish 3* chef on Saturday Kitchen a few weeks ago.

She put apple juice into the tank of a cheap machine and then used the steam wand to cook langoustines.

Why she didn't use a saucepan and a bamboo steamer is anyone's guess but she described it is "espresso steamed ..,"

Typical 3* gimmick IMHO!


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Mrboots2u said:


> Make sweet sweet love to it..........


What's wrong with that? Don't tell me I shouldn't please - my evenings won't be same if I can't


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## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

Daren said:


> What's wrong with that? Don't tell me I shouldn't please - my evenings won't be same if I can't


Literally LOL!


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Daren said:


> What's wrong with that? Don't tell me I shouldn't please - my evenings won't be same if I can't


Whatever makes you happy Daren and as long as the Rocket consents ( am phoning channel 5 as we speak to get a film crew round )


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

I'm not sure where I stand? She doesn't say I can.... but doesn't say a can't?


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Yeah - but is it *informed* consent??


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## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

Mrboots2u said:


> am phoning channel 5 as we speak to get a film crew round


NO! Don't let it be committed to film!


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## Dylan (Dec 5, 2011)

aaronb said:


> I heard a story once about a cafe using the steam wand to heat soup.
> 
> no, just no.
> 
> A few places around here do porridge which I guess is acceptable.


Or making scrambled eggs?


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

D_Evans said:


> Or making scrambled eggs?


No no no me Evans scrabbled eggs is definitely acceptable


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## Blackstone (Aug 5, 2012)

Mrboots2u said:


> Make sweet sweet love to it..........


that was going to be my suggestion


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## sjenner (Nov 8, 2012)

DavidBondy said:


> I may have mentioned this before but there was a Spanish 3* chef on Saturday Kitchen a few weeks ago.
> 
> She put apple juice into the tank of a cheap machine and then used the steam wand to cook langoustines.
> 
> ...


I s'pose 3* restaurants need to do something with their coffee machines...

In my experience, the further up the Michelin star rating one goes, the lower the quality of the coffee.


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

The coffee at le gavroche was pretty horrendous when I went. Asked for an espresso and got almost a 5oz cup full (don't think it was an ek shot either)


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## Wando64 (Feb 28, 2011)

I HAVE to try the scrambled eggs!


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Wando64 said:


> I HAVE to try the scrambled eggs!


Yeh they are great but get straight on to cleaning that wand


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## 4085 (Nov 23, 2012)

How about putting Lavazza into it?


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## froggystyle (Oct 30, 2013)

dfk41 said:


> How about putting Lavazza into it?


Done that, didnt end well.


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## 4085 (Nov 23, 2012)

Actually, I was introduced to a Lavazza decaf the other day and it was probably one of the nicer decafs as it had a20% robusta in...now, that opens up an argument in its own right but be that as it may!


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## aaronb (Nov 16, 2012)

eggs = NO

brrrr


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## Charliej (Feb 25, 2012)

I had to link this , found on Sprudge:

http://sprudge.com/interview-swede-behind-coffee-machine-cuisine.html


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