# I am common.



## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

I was challenged to post on the forum that I happily add milk to coffee made in an aeropress.

So here it is - the public declaration that not only do I add milk and not only that, but I don't really care that this (I have been led to believe) makes me common.

I also only like single shots because coffee is pretty strong stuff and I am of a delicate nature.

My latte art sucks

My milk is generally overheated

I have burnt both my groin and my hand on the steam wand.

I routinely wreck the latte art of others (on purpose)

Adding milk to brewed coffee is in no way similar to adding milk to fruit tea or indeed worse than eating chocolate for breakfast

And on a final note, I disagree that a single act of milk addition is sufficient to make one common.

I did also say that no one on the forum would say anything so horrid........ and in fact would all say that coffee is a personal journey, one of discovery and individualism and the truly innovative thinkers are in fact thhe rule breakers.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Errr I'd get a no burn wand if i'd done that


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## kikapu (Nov 18, 2012)

haventadog said:


> I have burnt both my groin and my hand on the steam wand.


An easy thing to do I am sure!!

Wearing clothes while steaming will surely help stop this?


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## garydyke1 (Mar 9, 2011)

You might indeed not be common but

''I routinely wreck the latte art of others (on purpose)''

is totally unforgivable . Lol


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

haventadog said:


> I have burnt both my groin and my hand on the steam wand.


Struggling to figure out how you could do the former

See clearly why, coffee-wise, you have a lot in common with Dave!!


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## popeye (Feb 10, 2014)

haventadog said:


> I have burnt both my groin and my hand on the steam wand.


Is this a new take on naked pf's lol


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Milk in Aeropress? Burn the witch


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

haventadog said:


> I have burnt both my groin and my hand on the steam wand.


This is bugging me. Did you do both at the same time, i.e. burn your hand protecting your groin??? If so, why?


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Daren said:


> Milk in Aeropress? Burn the witch


Don't beat around the bush Daren, do you?


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

So common as well!!! (and that's coming from the Essex Boy)


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## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

If you haven't already (or if it's not too late), I would urge you to enter your name in to the Least Crap Latte Art competition. If you're as bad as you say you are you could win yourself a nice booby prize (like I did last year!).

...and it's a total laugh...


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## 4515 (Jan 30, 2013)

Some time ago we started learning Bulgarian and went to their house. We were offered tea which we said yes please. We were asked if we wanted milk. Yes was the answer.

We then received peppermint tea with milk. We must be common because we drank (or rather suffered) the stuff.

I'd say youre common if you add sugar and stir clockwise


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

garydyke1 said:


> You might indeed not be common but
> 
> ''I routinely wreck the latte art of others (on purpose)''
> 
> is totally unforgivable . Lol


Sabotage is the only way to go


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

working dog said:


> Some time ago we started learning Bulgarian and went to their house. We were offered tea which we said yes please. We were asked if we wanted milk. Yes was the answer.
> 
> We then received peppermint tea with milk. We must be common because we drank (or rather suffered) the stuff.
> 
> I'd say youre common if you add sugar and stir clockwise


And thus proving that I am merely cosmopolitan and the accuser is clearly not


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

Milanski said:


> If you haven't already (or if it's not too late), I would urge you to enter your name in to the Least Crap Latte Art competition. If you're as bad as you say you are you could win yourself a nice booby prize (like I did last year!).
> 
> ...and it's a total laugh...


I shall be looking at that later. Tricky one as I like to win these things. If there is a comp for the most tragic latte art, put me down


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

I think I achieved that all by myself.

Try it, widen your horizons


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

The Systemic Kid said:


> This is bugging me. Did you do both at the same time, i.e. burn your hand protecting your groin??? If so, why?


Two unique occasions. Merely an issue with pointing long thin hot things at the wrong parts. Always leads to trouble


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

The Systemic Kid said:


> Struggling to figure out how you could do the former
> 
> See clearly why, coffee-wise, you have a lot in common with Dave!!


Oh My Gosh, CoffeeChap told me that naked coffee was the only way to achieve the perfect experience.

I feel so stupid.


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## welshrarebit (Apr 17, 2014)

Suppose it saves having a shower.


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## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

haventadog said:


> I shall be looking at that later. Tricky one as I like to win these things. If there is a comp for the most tragic latte art, put me down


Winning a prize for most tragic latte art is exactly the same as winning a prize for the worst latte art, it's only the words that are different.


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## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

haventadog said:


> Oh My Gosh, CoffeeChap told me that naked coffee was the only way to achieve the perfect experience.
> 
> I feel so stupid.


oh dear, now I have a naked dave on my mind...quick, think of something else...


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

Oh good, I read it as the 'least crap' Thats me for the pole position then.


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

Milanski said:


> oh dear, now I have a naked dave on my mind...quick, think of something else...


It's okay. He told me that it was important to get down to bare essentials when making coffee. He was not naked himself

.

I thought that it was all part of the normal training.

Hoestly, I am so gullible. I hope I am not the only one


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## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

You don't get pole without qualifying first.

*gauntlet thrown!


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

haventadog said:


> It's okay. He told me that it was important to get down to bare essentials when making coffee. He was not naked himself
> 
> .
> 
> ...


Coffee from Nude?? Blend or single origin?


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

The Systemic Kid said:


> Coffee from Nude?? Blend or single origin?


I am a single origin kind of lass. Purity is under rated.

I shall be very careful not to get burnt again.

And tonight, the steam wand is all mine. Horrendous latte art come on down


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

haventadog said:


> He was not naked himself


I've just been a little bit sick after you put that horrendous image in my head


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## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

How some people may perceive you adding milk to your coffee


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

Daren said:


> I've just been a little bit sick after you put that horrendous image in my head


So does that mean you feel sick that he wasn't naked?

I am a little shocked that some of you may now be visualiing him without clothes on. For the record, it was only me that got scalded.

From my perspective, I thought this was a traditional coffee instruction session and woud prefer not to visualise the instructor unclad.

It seems unprofessional. I am happy to have learnt my lessons in life

1. When a coffee instructor tells you that the creating the best coffee is about stripping down to basics - you should not remove your clothing.

2. It is easy to scald the groin when the wand is pointing down to far. Upright is far less dangerous

3. It is easy to burn the hand when playing with steamy items

4. Milk in brewed coffee is cosmopolitan and not common.

5. Latte art is reproduction. Sabotage is where it is at.


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

Thecatlinux said:


> How some people may perceive you adding milk to your coffee


Oh no, I am much neater than that. I like to think of myself as innovative and stylish.

Milk in brewed coffee. Rule breaker, ground breaking


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

and there i was thinking that my tuition was meeting the needs of the student, got it so wrong!!!!


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

coffeechap said:


> and there i was thinking that my tuition was meeting the needs of the student, got it so wrong!!!!


I got burnt


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## 4515 (Jan 30, 2013)

Did CC use his special thermometer to test the milk temperature ?


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

Just for clarity. CC was nothing but professional

My humour is an acquired taste.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

haventadog said:


> Just for clarity. CC was nothing but professional
> 
> My humour is an acquired taste.


as is the way to take your brewed coffee


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## oop north (Jun 23, 2013)

Nowt wrong with having milk in brewed coffee, from an aeropress or otherwise

my latte art skills are so bad the word crap is hideously misused if applied to it - count myself lucky if it tastes good (function over form and all that)

haven't scalded myself with steam wand though

my most common current mistake is forgetting to turn the scales back on before the espresso shot has started flowing


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

oop north said:


> Nowt wrong with having milk in brewed coffee, from an aeropress or otherwise
> 
> my latte art skills are so bad the word crap is hideously misused if applied to it - count myself lucky if it tastes good (function over form and all that)
> 
> ...


My most common mistake is refusing to make coffee with anyone else in the house until I am good enough to take a challenge head on. Which at this rate will be 2018.

I am also really good at jamming the grinder, forgetting to put water in the machine, not taking instruction well, being bored by the technicalities and of not particularly liking caffeine.

Clearly, I am not direct threat.

YET


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

nooooooooo, milk is forbidden in brewed coffee, if it is brewed correctly, dont give her hope that she may be right, my life will be misery.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

you never mentioned about the grinder!!!!


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## oop north (Jun 23, 2013)

coffeechap said:


> nooooooooo, milk is forbidden in brewed coffee, if it is brewed correctly, dont give her hope that she may be right, my life will be misery.


Your life is not my concern


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

its really easy, turn grinder on (press switch not gently stroke), place portafilter (handle thingy that coffee goes in) under the exit hole, then gently feed the beans into the prtty brass bit of the versalab, but not all at once, ta daaaa ground coffee ready for the next part.


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## oop north (Jun 23, 2013)

Come to think of it, the existence of the words "if it is brewed correctly" are a bit of a problem


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## oop north (Jun 23, 2013)

coffeechap said:


> its really easy, turn grinder on (press switch not gently stroke), place portafilter (handle thingy that coffee goes in) under the exit hole, then gently feed the beans into the prtty brass bit of the versalab, but not all at once, ta daaaa ground coffee ready for the next part.


Well at least I have that bit right


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

Oh really? Must have slipped my mind.

It was okay though, I stuck a large screwdriver in it, wriggled it around a while and that, combined with a good whacking seemed to clear it.

So much easier to bear than the eyes rolling around that I feared that I may get.


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

coffeechap said:


> nooooooooo, milk is forbidden in brewed coffee, if it is brewed correctly, dont give her hope that she may be right, my life will be misery.


I'm with Oop North on this. He clearly knows what he is talking about


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

I drink plain old milk in coffee made from a Moka pot!

I feel like I'm in an AA meeting!









But in general I don't tend to have it with anything else apart from the odd attempt of a flat white or cappa at the weekend.

Other than that I tend to drink straight espresso, espresso with an equal amount of water in it (short black) or an Americano.

I also make coffee fully clothed and in general ask everyone else present to be fully clothed too.

If they do feel the urge to disrobe then I ask them to at least have the decency to wear safety goggles.


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

urbanbumpkin said:


> I drink plain old milk in coffee made from a Moka pot!
> 
> I feel like I'm in an AA meeting!
> 
> ...


See, i have unearthed a secret pleasure and you will not be alone. I have learnt my lesson on the fully clothed bit.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

look if the trainer is only clad in an apron i feel it only befitting that the student is too (it is not my fault you dont have an apron!)


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

This thread is now wrong ..very wrong ....


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Reading this gives me a similar uncomfortable feeling when watching TV with my parents and a sex scene comes on .... quick - Where's the remote, what's on the other side....


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## haventadog (Nov 4, 2013)

Awwww that's so quaint, I did wince with the Lonely planet though.

For clarity though, this was merely humour.

No aprons were worn in the making of coffee. There were no scenes of nudity.

I did indeed burn my groin but was heftily clad in outer garments at the time and any suggestion of otherwise from anyone was no more than humorous banter.

I really do add milk to brewed coffee. That in itself may cause som shock in others


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