# Are we coffee bores and modern office pests?



## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Another shock story in the Grauniad today. What none of us pursuing our hobby in work (or simply want to make a cup of coffee that doesn't involve a jar and a spoon) clearly don't realise is: what nuisances we have become. You can't imagine how relieved I felt because I don't use an aeropress in work or know any one called Maurizio.

Here's the link

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2015/may/27/new-office-pests-modern-work-life

And this is the text:

The coffee boreThere was a time when the only coffee ritual of the day involved pressing three buttons on a machine, before dejectedly pouring the lukewarm sludge down the sink and getting a glass of water instead. Now it has become accepted practice to abandon work for an indeterminate amount of time to attain, Blumenthal-style, the perfect brew. This is not sensible practice if you work in a coffee shop, so it's certainly not on when you're handling admin in HR. And yet there you are, slowly assembling an AeroPress pump and blooming your grinds with a drip kettle, or heading to the local deli and waiting until Maurizio (real name: Dave) is available because he once won an award for his macchiato foam in 2009. "I need it to get me through the day," you hear them say. Yes, and by the time they've got the damn thing, they're already halfway there.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Who gives awards for a macchiato? With it being the Guardian it might be a award for his moustache for all we know ( yes boots criticising typos oh the irony )


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

At least they knew that a macchiato isn't a milk drink.


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## risky (May 11, 2015)

Phil104 said:


> Another shock story in the Grauniad today. What none of us pursuing our hobby in work (or simply want to make a cup of coffee that doesn't involve a jar and a spoon) clearly don't realise is: what nuisances we have become. You can't imagine how relieved I felt because I don't use an aeropress in work or know any one called Maurizio.
> 
> Here's the link
> 
> ...


Not office related but the last sentence relating to the time it takes got my goat. My better half watched me using the Chemex the other day "what a long process" she said. Now bearing it mind it actually only takes 4 minutes plus however long the kettle takes to boil. I think there is certainly a perception that good coffee must take a long time to make. I don't think 4 minutes is a long time. I'd rather spend 4 minutes to make something drinkable than 30 seconds for some instant muck.


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

So - macchiato foaming won't be a feature of the Rave day? Might need to give up my place. Or sit in the corner and read the Gruaniad.


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Ugh, what a horrendously written article.


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Scotford said:


> Ugh, what a horrendously written article.


 Trouble is, with the election over and nothing else happening in the world, newspapers are desperate&#8230;desperate enough to recycle tired old cliches and stereotypes.


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## Xpenno (Nov 12, 2012)

a. there was a time when coffee tasted like crap and nobody gave a ****!

b. they seem to know a lot about coffee for someone who isn't a coffee bore themselves.

I am 100% a coffee bore, I keep myself to myself unless people are interested and then they get it both barrels


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

No one ever complains when I give them coffee.


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Phil104 said:


> Trouble is, with the election over and nothing else happening in the world, newspapers are desperate&#8230;desperate enough to recycle tired old cliches and stereotypes.


The grauniad have always tended to grab the wrong end of the 'trendstick' either way. It's just getting cringey now.


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Kyle548 said:


> No one ever complains when I give them coffee.


What are they thinking, though?


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Maurizio (real name Dave) was the only funny bit in that pathetic attempt at inverse snobbery from those nincompoops at the Grauniad. I bet you a caramel fappuccino the writer nipped out for a self-congratulatory soya latte with organic elderberry syrup in it after spending so long at his Mac book air typing it.

Confession time: I first heard about this forum while chatting to a bloke at work about his weird coffee syringe, (I'd never heard of an Aeropress at that point). I was making a French press at the time. So maybe there's a grain of truth behind it.


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## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

Xpenno said:


> I am 100% a coffee bore, I keep myself to myself unless people are interested and then they get it both barrels


I wish I had your restraint. I just talk at people. 100% bore.


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

Phil104 said:


> What are they thinking, though?


The ones who drink my coffee, probably "this is a nice cup of coffee"; everyone else "what a pretentious cu**."

Not that I make coffee in the office....


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## Dallah (Jan 31, 2015)

I only get "oh that looks interesting" or "oh that looks complicated" while I grind beans for my Aeropress. I laugh a little and just say I'm a bit fussy and no one seems to mind. If takes about the same amount of time as one of the fellas making instant soup. Some people ask me coffee related questions and I answer them to the best of my ability without sounding like a crank (I hope).


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Clearly the satire in the Grauniad article isn't aimed at anyone on the forum (well, maybe except for jonc) because pretty much by definition of being on the forum we understand the role of coffee making in different spaces: home, work, and the third space, and the subtle rules that influence that role in these different spaces. In general, it seems, if someone asks, we tell, with both barrels or not, and even show and taste and sometimes convert&#8230;


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## Beanosaurus (Jun 4, 2014)

Cascara was brewed in a cafetiere and distributed around the office yesterday, think some people actually liked it as well.

Worrying times!


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Beanosaurus said:


> Cascara was brewed in a cafetiere and distributed around the office yesterday, think some people actually liked it as well.
> 
> Worrying times!


Vive la revolution.

(where did you get your cascara from?)


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## Beanosaurus (Jun 4, 2014)

Phil104 said:


> Vive la revolution.
> 
> (where did you get your cascara from?)


Our office networking guru/espresso fiend Steve bought it from HasBean, he was delighted to learn it has a high caffeine content!


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

I'm not in the office much these days but the people I sit with have given me money to get some extra beans when I visit. One of them suggesting we run it as a "Coffee club" which I think was basically I but them and prepare then and he chips in on cost. I just did French press recently, as it was generally for 3 - 4 people and they were all enjoying it.

I don't understand the bit in the article (ignoring for a minute that it's all rubbish) where it says its "become accepted practice to abandon work for an indeterminate amount of time to attain, Blumenthal-style, the perfect brew. This is not sensible practice if you work in a coffee shop," erm are you sure that's not sensible for a coffee shop?


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

jlarkin said:


> erm are you sure that's not sensible for a coffee shop?


I get what you are implying here, as we are always on the lookout for what others are doing but I wouldn't just nip down to Monmouth for a coffee on my break.


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

> "become accepted practice to abandon work for an indeterminate amount of time to attain, Blumenthal-style, the perfect brew. This is not sensible practice if you work in a coffee shop," erm are you sure that's not sensible for a coffee shop?


I interpreted this to mean that unless you are a 'coffee master' in a Japanese coffee shop, you shouldn't be spending ages trying to get the perfect brew because in the mean time, the queue is out of the door or gone elsewhere and that = unsustainable business practices (like spending hours in work making coffee with that invention of satan - an aeropress). This is obviously debatable because anyone who cares about what they are doing wants to get it reasonably right if not absolutely. Espresso is called espresso for a reason but even that takes a little bit of time to get right. A lot of coffee shops advise a customer that a particular brew method is going to take longer (the implication is that if you're in a rush, have an espresso).


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## Mister_Tad (Feb 9, 2015)

I think someone needs to inform the writer that if he thinks everyone is an office pest, he's probably the office pest. You know, the "I have an opinion about anything and EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW IT"


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## NickdeBug (Jan 18, 2015)

Used to have a Gaggia Classic on the desk behind me at my old job. A queue used to form in response to the question "who fancies a coffee?".

Barista duties were gradually taken over by the chief formulation chemist (appropriately enough) who had considerably more patience than I.

In current job I have managed to sell two colleagues on Sowden, and plenty of comments passed at the Classic in my office, but no following as yet. probably because I'm too busy to turn it on most of the time.

The trick is differentiating between a polite enquiry as to what you are doing and a genuine question from someone wanting to know more









Edit - but I am definitely the office bore on coffee related matters!


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## richn (Apr 27, 2015)

Scotford said:


> I get what you are implying here, as we are always on the lookout for what others are doing but I wouldn't just nip down to Monmouth for a coffee on my break.


I used to work 3 mins walk from Monmouth. Not sure why I left that job...


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## rmblack78 (Oct 9, 2014)

My favourite, is the person in the office who thinks they are a coffee snob... But actually prefers the coffee from Nero at Kings Cross to Caravan, Noble, Notes... "because it's stronger"...! Face. Palm.


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

rmblack78 said:


> My favourite, is the person in the office who thinks they are a coffee snob... But actually prefers the coffee from Nero at Kings Cross to Caravan, Noble, Notes... "because it's stronger"...! Face. Palm.


Now, the coffee snob is well worth satirising. You've started the ball rolling.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

richn said:


> I used to work 3 mins walk from Monmouth. Not sure why I left that job...


Probably because you didn't fit in all that well in the Orla Kiely boutique? ?


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## richn (Apr 27, 2015)

Well it was either there or Coco De Mer...


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## Flibster (Aug 15, 2010)

Working from home, so no problems in my case.


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## rmblack78 (Oct 9, 2014)

We have a bean to cup machine at work that seems pretty popular... I drink tea during the day...


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Flibster said:


> Working from home, so no problems in my case.


Not necessarily...soon after I got going making espresso at home I overwhelmed with enthusiasm someone that had come to service our central heating boiler. He made the mistake of accepting my offer to make him a 'real' coffee, which, with considerable social skill, he then let me know wasn't at all to his taste. I have been more cautious since.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

My mate loves the taste of the coffee i make but won't have one after about 11am as he reckons it sends him into orbit. Quite appropriate for a Rocket owner but I'm sure the caffeine content can't be that much higher than the supermarket stuff he normally drinks can it?


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## bronc (Dec 10, 2012)

A lot of people associate the strong taste of espresso with high caffeine content which is nonsense. A cup of brewed has more caffeine than a shot of espresso but tastes "milder".


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## dsc (Jun 7, 2013)

Isnt that simply because a cupof brewed is 200-250ml and espresso is only 30ml? Im sure I read somewhere that per 1ml espresso has more caffeine than brewed.

T.


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## rmblack78 (Oct 9, 2014)

hotmetal said:


> My mate loves the taste of the coffee i make but won't have one after about 11am as he reckons it sends him into orbit. Quite appropriate for a Rocket owner but I'm sure the caffeine content can't be that much higher than the supermarket stuff he normally drinks can it?


Odd that, I have a friend the same.

I have people at work who I have managed to turn (ish) one of whom now buys pre ground from Rave and the like rather than Lavazza.... I will try and sell him my MC2 this week!


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