# What was your worse coffee experience ?



## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Mine was on a transatlantic flight with United Airlines to Newark. The coffee was the worse coffee I had ever tasted, it tasted very chemical and metallic, worse than the worse instant coffee I have ever had.


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## rob177palmer (Feb 14, 2017)




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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

I would take that over United Airlines coffee any time


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## 4515 (Jan 30, 2013)

Worst ever has to be the coffee from the machine at Dixon Construction in Doncaster in about 1988/89

It tasted nasty - the powder had never seen a coffee bean at any point along its production process. The bad thing was, after drinking this muck for a week whilst installing network cabling, it tasted better than 'normal' instant


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

All of them that don't involve carefully roasted beans and then love, care and attention in preparation.


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

@working dog

that must have been a really bad coffee if you remember it from 1988/1989 lol


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## jaffro (Oct 6, 2015)

A few years back I ordered a filter coffee from Starbucks. It was exceptionally strong and horrifically bitter... No idea who made that thing or how. Swear I can still taste it to this day.


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## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Like most of us I've had some less than desirable 'coffee' in my time, possibly even made one or two of them myself.

However, the cup of bilge water that I was served up at *Murphy's Coffee Shop earlier in the year as documented here... It's coffee Jim but not as we know it..... has to be my worst ever.

* NB the name has been changed to protect the guilty !


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## 7493 (May 29, 2014)

I used to work for the BBC. There was a 'house' coffee, 'Television Blend'. It was truly disgusting but any caffeine better than no caffeine. In more recent years, leaving aside instant, the worst I've had was in Marks & Sparks - no discernible coffee at all and at a restaurant in Emsworth which was making a big thing about its 'artisan coffee'. Too hot, almost no flavour and what there was was bitter.


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

I was brought back some ground coffee from Canada that has maple flavouring added. it got chucked.

Then again, the worst one might've been some delightful beans that Martin @Mrboots2u sent me... distinctly fishy


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

Pre ground flavoured beans off my lovely niece. It was meant to be Christmas pudding flavour.

It smelt like a world war 2 gas mask and tasted like a WW1 trench.


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## SoleBay (Aug 28, 2017)

got to be a cup I got at the mother in laws recently, who tends to stock up on coffee as if a nuclear holocaust is imminent.

was a 500g tub (bargain bucket size) of asda own make instant, been open for a good 4-6 weeks as only 2 people drink it and could smell the tangy taste before I even looked at it,...needless to say I took a couple of fake sips and let it go cold before declaring I would like a cup of tea as my coffee was cold.


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

@Rajbongo

Argh! Sounds like coffee at my Mother's house. Maybe you should ask her to serve it really hot, it will help mask the taste and numb the taste buds lol

@urbanbumpkin

Christmas pudding flavoured coffee lol


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Coffee related experience ever? At a restaurant in NY that spilled half a cup of scalding hot coffee down my (then) girlfriends lap and proceeded to tell us that it was our fault that he couldn't deliver their exceptional service usually provided as she had her phone on the table and that had blocked his delivery of said drink. Only to then be backed up by his manager who told us we had berated his employee unjustly (after sneering at the puddle of 'coffee' in said lady's lap) because we should have been more aware of the hot drink only to then try to charge us $100 for cleaning after staining his, and I quote, "Fu*king beautiful leather".


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## Phobic (Aug 17, 2016)

Lavazza

(yes I'm on the sherry again, will anyone bite?)


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## Jacko112 (Oct 29, 2015)

Anything in a brown bear packet!


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

In truth I suspect some of my early espresso shots probably deserve this title. @Glenn can probably confirm since he tasted one 'just to see where I was' at the start of a morning's training - poor blighter.

Prior to that Mellow Birds.

Most recently some beans that had been living in the back of my freezer for somewhere between six and nine months.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Oh go on then, confession time. Don't judge . . . .

We (the royal 'we') had a Jura b2c some 8 odd years ago. It was so awful I cried, I didn't sleep a wink until we managed to send it back (faulty, it had a scuff on it basically), we talked the supplier into a refund saying we would then buy the better Jura model. We didn't.

At the time £700 (I think it was around that) was a HUGE sum of money for us to spend on anything and I couldn't believe I'd been so silly! The 'coffee' was indescribable awful . . . I tried a few different things but nothing made it taste better!


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## Grimley (Jan 18, 2015)

Any Coffee from a Fast Food Chain. Any hotter & more vile tasting it would have been straight from a Lava streaming Volcano itself. The New Black in the city was the worst so far this year though.


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

Scotford said:


> Coffee related experience ever? At a restaurant in NY that spilled half a cup of scalding hot coffee down my (then) girlfriends lap and proceeded to tell us that it was our fault that he couldn't deliver their exceptional service usually provided as she had her phone on the table and that had blocked his delivery of said drink. Only to then be backed up by his manager who told us we had berated his employee unjustly (after sneering at the puddle of 'coffee' in said lady's lap) because we should have been more aware of the hot drink only to then try to charge us $100 for cleaning after staining his, and I quote, "Fu*king beautiful leather".


This has to take the prize, that is just so awful. I'm feeling cross on your behalf!


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## Glenn (Jun 14, 2008)

I've had a few questionable experiences, far worse than @Obnic shots









However, usually it's a poor service experience where the coffee is good that winds me up.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

There was one weekend that will never be talked off again where me and two forum members made the worst coffee with the most expensive gear.....


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Glenn said:


> I've had a few questionable experiences, far worse than @Obnic shots
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah know what you mean and it makes the coffee less enjoyable no mater how good it is.


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

Any coffee made by someone who drinks tea, specifically on one occasion doing a home visit to a client - firstly invited to sit on a sette which felt damp and smelt terrible, the homeowner then mentioned "might be a bit damp my lad was sick on it yesterday but don't worry I cleaned it all off, your fine" - was then handed a mug and had coffee poured out of an old teapot into it - I can still taste it, often I wake up in a cold sweat thinking about it.


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## Stanic (Dec 12, 2015)

I'll say Costa, I expected at least something drinkable when I asked for a shortened doppio, and not a black extract from burning tyres


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## russell16688 (Jul 23, 2017)

I remember 2 particular ones:

1. I still didn't mind instant coffee at this point but at an old work place bought us some Poundland red mountain (I think) and it was by far the worst tasting coffee ever. So bitter and dry.

2. A coffee shop in a poor local shopping centre served the worst cappuccino. I'd barely finished saying the order to the cashier and the barista was proud that the drink was already ready. The espresso was horrendous and was so bitter it overpowered even the milk. The foam was fluffed like mini icebergs on top. It was so bad it was funny. I felt bad because I think the guy actually tried and felt he'd done a good job. It was more the quality of training in a low quality chain store.


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## RDC8 (Dec 6, 2016)

My wife and I took her grandmother to the Thorntons cafe in liverpool one for an afternoon tea - where i ordered a latte. Bad mistake. A 12 second pour for the double shot - then when the "barista" brought over the steamed milk to pour, the needle on the milk thermometer was well past the red zone. The equipment was decent, but the staff had no idea what they were doing when it came to coffee!


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Mrboots2u said:


> There was one weekend that will never be talked off again where me and two forum members made the worst coffee with the most expensive gear.....


I actually had that recanted to me when Will came to visit!


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Scotford said:


> I actually had that recanted to me when Will came to visit!


We never talk or this again or it's a horses head in your bed....


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## lake_m (Feb 4, 2017)

My Dad (bless him) brought a 30lb sack of catering coffee beans back from the States earlier this year. He actually hauled this stuff in his check-in luggage. "I didn't know what to bring back for you, so I got you this. I know you're into coffee.....". "Thanks Dad, that's really thoughtful". Didn't have the heart to tell him later that it tasted like hell in a cup. "Wow, you've really gone through those beans quickly..." Yes Dad, you know me....*cough*.

I was once served 'cappuccino' in a House of Fraser store that was so hot, we actually had to go before it was cool enough to drink without scalding my mouth.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Ian has just volunteered the information that his family coffee of choice was Camp [liquid chicory] *coffee* when he was growing up. No wonder he thinks whatever I serve up is 'fantastic'!!


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## Norvin (Sep 10, 2014)

When I was a teenager, a group of us were camping in a field near Stanhope. We saw a farmer baling in the next field and decided to help. As a reward we were taken back to the farmhouse for some lunch. The farmers wife made us coffee by spooning ground coffee directly into a cup with boiling water. It was awful but we were too polite to say anything and drank it.

That wasn't the worst, one of us asked for a cup of milk. When he got it, he commented that it was warm. "Aye", the farmer's wife said, "that's because I've just nipped round the back to milk the cow directly into the cup". The expression on his face was priceless.


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## James811 (May 10, 2014)

Starbucks filter. Just as I was getting into coffee, I was waiting for my wife when she had an appointment in the city for a couple of hours and planned on spending one of them in Starbucks with a coffee and leaching their wifi. It tasted as what I can only describe as ash and burnt paper. Undeniably horrific


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## jaffro (Oct 6, 2015)

James811 said:


> Starbucks filter. Just as I was getting into coffee, I was waiting for my wife when she had an appointment in the city for a couple of hours and planned on spending one of them in Starbucks with a coffee and leaching their wifi. It tasted as what I can only describe as ash and burnt paper. Undeniably horrific


Glad we agree on that, exactly what I said at the beginning of the thread!


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Starbucks seem to like using over roasted coffee that tastes like ashtrays and bitter. Cafe Nero is the best coffee shop chain in my opinion.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

ddoyle said:


> Starbucks seem to like using over roasted coffee that tastes like ashtrays and bitter. Cafe Nero is the best coffee shop chain in my opinion.


Neros for me are just as dark and oily but to each there own.

Watching em pull shots into dirty shot glasses over and over again at several cafes put my off em for life..


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Mrboots2u said:


> Neros for me are just as dark and oily but to each there own.
> 
> Watching em pull shots into dirty shot glasses over and over again at several cafes put my off em for life..


I agree, it seems to be the trend in coffee chains, I just find Nero a little smoother.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

ddoyle said:


> I agree, it seems to be the trend in coffee chains, I just find Nero a little smoother.


Do you drink it as espresso?


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Mrboots2u said:


> Do you drink it as espresso?


Yes always espresso shots, for ameicanos and sometimes flat whites, although I'm thinking about experimenting with other methods of extraction such as AeroPress


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

ddoyle said:


> Yes always espresso shots, for ameicanos and sometimes flat whites, although I'm thinking about experimenting with other methods of extraction such as AeroPress


Sorry I wasn't very clear, at neros you order an espresso and drink it without milk etc..


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Mrboots2u said:


> Sorry I wasn't very clear, at neros you order an espresso and drink it without milk etc..


Ah, proper espresso. Sorry @Mrboots2u your question was clear enough, it was my mistake for not reading your question properly.

I have on occasions had a straight shot of espresso when I feel tired, but I normally prefer it watered down a little as a small americano. Straight shots of espresso are too hardcore for me.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

ddoyle said:


> Ah, proper espresso. Sorry Mrboots2u your question was clear enough, it was my mistake for not reading your question properly.
> 
> I have on occasions had a straight shot of espresso when I feel tired, but I normally prefer it watered down a little as a small americano. Straight shots of espresso are too hardcore for me.


Black Americano?


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Sorry with milk and sugar. I am trying to reduce my sugar intake though by using and roasting beans that are naturally sweet.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

ddoyle said:


> Sorry with milk and sugar. I am trying to reduce my sugar intake though.


Yeah try it without sugar and milk , then you'll see how bitter it really is .......


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

I'm not sure if I could abuse my taste buds that much









But I do believe you, I just think Nero is the best of a bad bunch, i.e. starbucks, nero, costa


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

The flat white's from Costa, using their old paradise street option ( currently a brazilian so ) are passable , if not terribly complex, if made by a decent barista ( no sugar required ) .

They are alot less burnt that anything Nero sells.


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Here in Northern Ireland we have service stations called Apple Green which have Lavazza coffee shops, they do a decent flat white.


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

This might be a bit off topic given the thread topic, but the best coffee I ever had was at an Audi Showroom (unfortunately it wasn't me collecting the Audi), I wish I knew what they used, beans/machine, but the coffee was very naturally sweet and tasted great.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

ddoyle said:


> Here in Northern Ireland we have service stations called Apple Green which have Lavazza coffee shops, they do a decent flat white.


You said the L word ......


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

ddoyle said:


> This might be a bit off topic given the thread topic, but the best coffee I ever had was at an Audi Showroom (unfortunately it wasn't me collecting the Audi), I wish I knew what they used, beans/machine, but the coffee was very naturally sweet and tasted great.


It will be a bean to cup and some cheap wholesale beans i bet

You can do better, so much better,....


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Maybe who knows







You seem to be a bit of a coffee connoisseur







Are there any single origin beans you'd recommend for sweetness?


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

ddoyle said:


> Maybe who knows
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Brazilians , Other South Americans But go by notes , could be a decent blend that has Sweet , Chocolate notes .

Don't be frightened off blends per se. Cheap coffee in general will be cheap coffee though .


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

I roast my own beans, haven't got around to making my own blend. So for now its single origins. Beans i've tried so far are...

Brazilian Santos (a little bland)

Colombian Supremo (best sweetness so far, nice chocolate/nutty tones)

Ethiopian Sidamo (too earthy)


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

What are you roasting them with? And where are you getting the greens from..


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Roasting with a Gene Cafe. Santos and Supremo from ebay, Sidamo from Rave


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Buy better greens, eBay new could be owt... @DavecUK may be able to direct you or @irko


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Thanks. I'm no expert and had my doubts about buying from eBay but all the greens smell very fresh (like fresh grass) and the beans are all evenly sized and undamaged. I forgot to say I also tried green Peruvian beans from Bella Barista.


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

I'll ask the people you mentioned for suggestions. Just joined your fb group


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## DavecUK (Aug 6, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> Buy better greens, eBay new could be owt... @DavecUK may be able to direct you or @irko


*I would avoid ebay for coffee, unless your buying at least 20kg per time you won't get anywhere near trade price. I have seen coffees on ebay like Santos that costs 12.99 for 950g from one seller and 16 for 2Kg from another. Even if the coffee is fresh it's spot commodity price at the moment for a screen 17/18 e.g. what I could buy it for is £2.68 per Kg (of course you have to buy 70kg and get it transported for that price.* I wouldn't even drink it the coffee is so cheap. There are no bargains on e-bay. Aslo it's quite likely the ebay Santos is an even cheaper grade than I mentioned! There is the real laugh that they call it speciality grade coffee, when it's commodity coffee.

It's interesting how the wheel tends to come full circle. There is another thread about bulk buy of roasted coffee and someone has popped greens on it as a potential possibility as well. unfortunately these things don't always work out well.

http://coffeetime.wikidot.com/coffeetime-greens-club-uk

People could get green coffee at the exact wholesale price from the importers that a roaster pays, plus the small transportation cost to get the coffee to a single location for distribution (my place). I have never had such a depressing experience as running this. People would say they wanted to participate, then not pay, not turn up for the coffee, want it posted, argue about which greens, argue about the fecking price for gods sake. in the end I decided I simply wouldn't bother any more and a good idea simply died. in the last buy I ended up holding 30% of the coffee ordered and it all came out of my pocket. Never, ever again.

As for roasted coffee, you will get similar problems.


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

@DavecUK Thats such a shame and typical of people to ruin a good idea









I'm quite new to greens and not sure how to judge raw bean quality just yet, but the beans smelt very fresh and sweet, bean size was consistent and no signs of damaged beans. Feedback was also very good.

I paid £14.99 for 2 x 950g Brazil Santos 17/18 and £19.99 for 2 x 950g Colombian Supremo 17/18.

Just working my way around different greens until I find something that I like.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

As Dave said, there is no magic answer to cheap quality greens. Before thinking about investing in double boilers and the like think about the quality of the coffee you are going to roast or buy. If someone's heart is set on paying pennies for coffee then I'd ask why spent the pounds on gear with the mistaken belief it makes better coffee.


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

Mrboots2u said:


> As Dave said, there is no magic answer to cheap quality greens. Before thinking about investing in double boilers and the like think about the quality of the coffee you are going to roast or buy. If someone's heart is set on paying pennies for coffee then I'd ask why spent the pounds on gear with the mistaken belief it makes better coffee.


The price didn't matter, I don't even know how much one should pay for high quality greens just yet. I'm not even looking for a bargain in greens, just looking around and trying whatever greens I find. So far I've tried Brazilian, Colombian, Peruvian and Ethiopian.


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## DavecUK (Aug 6, 2013)

ddoyle said:


> @DavecUK Thats such a shame and typical of people to ruin a good idea
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The Colombian supremo would have been around 3.45 per kg green, it's again another conventional coffee. it's worth paying a bit more for much better coffee. e.g. the Colombian was about 30% more than the Santos, but the retail price was less than 30% more (not much admittedly). really though stop buying it on ebay and try a coffee club purchase from Bella Barista. Feedback was good because people giving the feedback don't really know anything. Those are basic beans, that if you are roasting your own, then you don't need to be drinking....so many better (and I mean hugely better) Brazils and Colombians about around. Sure they're 2x 3x 4x the price in the green, but worth it.


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## ddoyle (Sep 6, 2017)

DavecUK said:


> The Colombian supremo would have been around 3.45 per kg green, it's again another conventional coffee. it's worth paying a bit more for much better coffee. e.g. the Colombian was about 30% more than the Santos, but the retail price was less than 30% more (not much admittedly). really though stop buying it on ebay and try a coffee club purchase from Bella Barista. Feedback was good because people giving the feedback don't really know anything. Those are basic beans, that if you are roasting your own, then you don't need to be drinking....so many better (and I mean hugely better) Brazils and Colombians about around. Sure they're 2x 3x 4x the price in the green, but worth it.


Yeah good point, I'll order the 5 x 1kg Bulk Purchase from Bella Barista when I return home from my holidays.


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## Mattius2 (Aug 28, 2016)

I've found their bulk buy stuff to be a reasonable compromise between quality/price.


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