# Colonna Coffee Sign Up Launches



## risky (May 11, 2015)

The capsule system is on the horizon:

http://www.colonnacoffee.com/


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## DavecUK (Aug 6, 2013)

Chuckle....I have a capsule adaptor for my E61 somewhere....but I'm not going to try and find it.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

I have a capsule adaptor for my e61 and few bella barista pronto pods .. My wife prefers them, it makes a coffee more like Costa







which I have never managed to replicate using fresh ground beans


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## MWJB (Feb 28, 2012)

Long overdue. You shouldn't have to learn how to make great coffee to just drink great coffee.


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## risky (May 11, 2015)

In this week's barista hustle Matty P seems to be confirming these pods are for the Nespresso system.


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

On this news, my wife has just told me that she's glad she still has her Nespresso machine somewhere in a cupboard.


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## aaronb (Nov 16, 2012)

risky said:


> In this week's barista hustle Matty P seems to be confirming these pods are for the Nespresso system.


I like the comments that went with it too! very apt.


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## risky (May 11, 2015)

For those who don't subscribe:

Maxwell Colonna-Dashwood is Up To Something

That something is putting really delicious coffee in Nespresso pods. You can sign up for updates as they happen (highly recommended).

I'm sure you have an opinion about pods, but nobody cares. The only thing that matters about this project is how well it's received by regular consumers and how many people it introduces to -and convinces of- the deliciousness of specialty.

Here's why I think it'll work:

Nespresso machines are incredibly accurate and consistent.

Maxwell and co. don't tend to do things that aren't excellent.

The barrier to entry is so much lower than other 'specialty' brewing methods we've been touting: millions upon millions of people already have the right equipment.

No doubt Colonna will have something to say about the water their customers should use in their machines. If they do, their roasting will be dialled to that water, almost guaranteeing a beverage that tastes as it was intended.

Q If you sell coffee, how often can you guarantee that home brewers are tasting your coffee as it was intended?

A Less than Colonna will.


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

Maxwell - Some crimes can not be forgiven, as a social worker of old - I was often force fed this by the well meaning and demented, I still wake up screaming

~


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## risky (May 11, 2015)

Haha brilliant. I've never had the pleasure of Mellow Birds. What exactly is it?


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## DoubleShot (Apr 23, 2014)

Mellow Birds is instant coffee, isn't it? Heard the name decades ago but don't think I ever had the misfortune of being served it.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Consider yourself fortunate.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Oh my goodness does Mellow Turds still exist? That, along with strikes, power cuts, flared jeans, the Austin Allegro and Gareth Hunt's "3-bean salute" reminds me of all that was wrong with the 70s. Stops me from thinking everything was so much better in the good old days before computers etc. It's instant coffee, but somehow they did something to it that made it actually taste worse than most instant coffee. Especially if you lived in a hard water area. The hideousness of the taste is somehow etched on my memory - and I can tell you my parents didn't buy it (no - we had a percolator with a window in the top so you could see the coffee brewing - well posh!)

Reckon Maxwell could be onto something there. If that comes off, I'll get some for my mum so I won't feel so bad about having palmed off a Nespresso machine I got given on her.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

The worst instant coffee ever invented ... I am sure the mellow flavour came from using spent pucks and drip tray washouts to get the profile


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## ReecesCuppa (Jan 6, 2016)

Mellow birds is ... a big no - no.


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## Spazbarista (Dec 6, 2011)

Mellow Birds?

Never met one.


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## Spazbarista (Dec 6, 2011)

risky said:


> Haha brilliant. I've never had the pleasure of Mellow Birds. What exactly is it?


It's improved because of something called mellow roasting, which gives it a richer, smoother flavour


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

As the advert below shows it was a coffee based on the fact that it had no bitterness, soooo doesn't that make it not coffee ?






also it is still available (shudders)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mellow-Birds-100-Pack/dp/B004Q449F8


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

An accurate review from an Amazon buyer

What do you call buying a jar of this stuff? Insanity, Madness or just sheer stupidity? who knows. All I do now is that I am a couple of quid lighter and in no way better off from owning this stuff. From the instant I opened up the jar and broke the seal I knew this was different to any other instant coffee I had experienced. The jar gaping orifice presenting the light brown powder emitted a void from the top. No smell...no coffee presence...just.....an evil presence.... a malignant phantom of beans that were once there but no more. Beans that had been ground down in the local abattoir together with the various pet horses, cats and dogs from the regions vets.

The powder possessed some strange property, for when you scooped up the required heaped teaspoon the grains flowed off it like the contents of a demonic egg timer. Ticking away taste with each second. In the cup a cloud appeared as if wile-e-coyote had just fallen into the bottom of my mug. I added water and milk and was presented with a weak urine coloured beverage. Still no coffee aroma, just the smell of pain and death from the Kraft factory which this rubbish had been spawned.

The taste...I can only imagine eating one's own faeces tastier. No taste..only a bitterness appearing after a few seconds like years of regret from not asking out that girl from school or buying that last remaining jar of Kenco and buying this stuff.

Mellow Birds is terrible....it isn't a coffee.....it doesn't taste like coffee. It is the sweepings from the floor of the Kenco factory that have blown under the door to the urinals.

3 of 14 people found this review helpful

Helpful

Not Helpful





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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Gotta love that amazon review! It is totally true. I don't remember the "pet my puppies" (oo-er) ad, but I do remember the other one where the coffee got tipped into the plant pot. In fact seeing that ad made me realise the best way to deal with being given a cup of said beverage, but fortunately no one ever made me any after that.

Poor Maxwell, that a thread about him bringing good coffee to Nespresso machine owners got contaminated by mellow turds. Worse even than Maxwell House ( bet there's none in his! )


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## DavecUK (Aug 6, 2013)

But..but...it was "mellow roasted" as I remember....whatever the ^&* that means.


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

The full on Mellow Birds' experience was to make it with boiled milk rather than water and stick it in a hideous china jug like this:









Pure Hyacinth Bucket. Curiously, the taste was that of salty hot milk.


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## aaroncornish (Nov 7, 2012)

Salty hot milk does not sound good!


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

TSK you seem to know too much about this!


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

My mother was a dead ringer for Hyacinth Bucket


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Bouquet!


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

Maybe there should be a permanent lead thread on the forums - *Crimes against the bean or Coffee Room 101*? I would add tassimo straight away


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## risky (May 11, 2015)

Update:

I imagine you signed up because you are intrigued and excited about our upcoming foray into the world of capsules.

Our goal is to present you with the most incredible coffee. We seek to explore and evolve to achieve this goal.

We have strong aesthetics and flavour attributes that we are chasing in coffee - complexity, clarity and brightness. Ultimately, the goal is to highlight the character and origin of each special coffee.

We want to offer a curated experience to our customers and take you on a journey without compromise.

We know how important our first customers will be in achieving our goals. With this in mind we are offering founder memberships, providing you with first access to our new products but also to continued treats, limited edition coffees, gifts and merchandise.

We will keep you informed as the project gains momentum, explaining how we are doing things and letting you know when and how you can become involved.

Capsule technology represents one of the ways we will present our coffee to you, with beans being a big part of our offering as well. We can't wait for you to brew a cup.

Maxwell and the Colonna team.


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## aaronb (Nov 16, 2012)

Ah I thought the sign up was just for capsules. Id like to try some beans but without a physical trip to Bath.

Signed up!


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

Yeah probably cheaper to buy £5 of beans than to sign up to a founder membership of capsules you won't use


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## risky (May 11, 2015)

Interestingly I didn't know it was a sign up for anything other than capsules.

I've had some of the Colonna coffee beans this week. Tasty.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Had three different beans now - all super nom on different ways


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## Colio07 (Mar 9, 2015)

Has anyone heard anything recently about when the Colonna coffee capsules might be available?


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## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

Colio07 said:


> Has anyone heard anything recently about when the Colonna coffee capsules might be available?


Nope not yet.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

I went to the shop a couple of weeks back and got a few samples .... He said beginning of June .. Hmmmmm


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## Colio07 (Mar 9, 2015)

Thanks both. Looking forward to trying them on the capsule machine at work, once they're available.


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Just received a wholesale price list. Very competitive for some of the beans on there!


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

Scotford said:


> Just received a wholesale price list. Very competitive for some of the beans on there!


Are they doing wholesale yet? I registered for wholesale yesterday but only got the confirmation email so far


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

jeebsy said:


> Are they doing wholesale yet? I registered for wholesale yesterday but only got the confirmation email so far


I would assume so if they've sent the list round. I signed up ages ago though


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