# The Coffee Sins of Others



## michaelg (Jul 25, 2013)

So normally I make my wife's coffee in the morning for her (a pretty dilute american in a Contigo flask per her request) but sometimes I am short of time and she makes it herself.

Today, I came in just as she was making it, and I saw her stirring the grounds with a cocktail stick and thought "wow, she's been watching me after all" so I leave her to it with tamping etc.

I noticed she'd left the machine running quite a while, more than 27s for sure! So I weighed her output (taring off an identical mug) and found roughly 113g output (from 20g in). Still, she thought the resulting americano was pretty tasty so who am I to say? So I released the portafilter handle and found the puck at an angle as if trying to escape over the side. This is the second time I've seen this when she's made the coffee and I'm still stumped as to how she managed it!

Anyone else have any friends/partners with an 'interesting' approach to coffee making?

I also have a friend whose idea of an American is just to run the shot until it fills the mug (made with preground in a supermarket machine I think). Yum!


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## froggystyle (Oct 30, 2013)

To be fair my wife has got the hang of the classic quite well.

Although any issues hit her and she gets stuck, doesn't know what to do next.

I still have to make her a latte though before i leave for work, lazy git!


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Think your wife is giving you a message, Michael


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## DavidBondy (Aug 17, 2010)

My ex-wife HATED coffee and couldn't even stay in the house if I was roasting. I moved the roaster into the garage for a while but decided that the best course of action was to divorce her - so I did! I've never looked back!!!

DB

(as a matter of interest, yesterday WOULD HAVE BEEN my 37th wedding anniversary!!!)


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## michaelg (Jul 25, 2013)

The Systemic Kid said:


> Think your wife is giving you a message, Michael


I think so! She apparently has worked in a cafe years ago but I reckon it might have been one where the SOP says 'boil milk via steam wand - if no screeching sound put wand deeper.' etc!


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

michaelg said:


> Anyone else have any friends/partners with an 'interesting' approach to coffee making?


Mrs Systemic refuses to allow me to throw out a knackered Dualit grinder which she uses to make cafetiere which, admittedly, isn't that often. Think it's some form of higher communication to me but the meaning is beyond me.


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## froggystyle (Oct 30, 2013)

DavidBondy said:


> My ex-wife HATED coffee and couldn't even stay in the house if I was roasting. I moved the roaster into the garage for a while but decided that the best course of action was to divorce her - so I did! I've never looked back!!!
> 
> DB
> 
> (as a matter of interest, yesterday WOULD HAVE BEEN my 37th wedding anniversary!!!)


My step daughter hates the smell when i roast also, maybe ill move her to out the shed.

Happy 'would have been' wedding anniversary for yesterday!


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## michaelg (Jul 25, 2013)

The Systemic Kid said:


> Mrs Systemic refuses to allow me to throw out a knackered Dualit grinder which she uses to make cafetiere which, admittedly, isn't that often. Think it's some form of higher communication to me but the meaning is beyond me.


I donated my old Dualit to my mother-in-law so she could grind on demand instead of buying pre-ground but last time I visited I found she was grinding about 250g at a time and storing in a jar. You can take a horse to water...


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Soy. Vanilla. Half shot. Caramel. Almond milk. Extra hot.

Any of the above.


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## froggystyle (Oct 30, 2013)

A half shot deserves a punch in the face in my book!


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Soy milk is a cry for help.


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## froggystyle (Oct 30, 2013)

Soy milk is for people who wet the bed!


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## michaelg (Jul 25, 2013)

Extra hot drives me nuts too. If I had a cafe I'd just provide a microwave and say "knock yourself out. I'm not doing it."


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## marcuswar (Aug 19, 2013)

michaelg said:


> I donated my old Dualit to my mother-in-law so she could grind on demand instead of buying pre-ground but last time I visited I found she was grinding about 250g at a time and storing in a jar. You can take a horse to water...


"You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink" ....

But you can salt it's oats!

Keep giving her decent coffee at your house and she might eventually get the message.


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## michaelg (Jul 25, 2013)

At my house I get complaints it's too strong so I can't win!


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## Burnzy (Apr 17, 2014)

Mrs burnzy asked me to train her up.

I said. NO


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Burnzy said:


> Mrs burnzy asked me to train her up.
> 
> I said. NO


That's the spirit


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

froggystyle said:


> Soy milk is for people who wet the bed!


Soy makes the baby Jesus cry.


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## froggystyle (Oct 30, 2013)

In a blind test Noah can tell the difference between cheap and expensive soy!!


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Scotford said:


> Soy makes the baby Jesus cry.


Don't try macademia and almond milk

It made me cry .....


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## froggystyle (Oct 30, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> Don't try macademia and almond milk
> 
> It made me cry .....


pah northern fairy!

Cant really see any point in fancy milks in coffee, keep it simple i say...


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

It was an experiment that didn't work out well .....


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Anyways, how the hell do you milk a soy bean when they don't have titties???


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## Tiny tamper (May 23, 2014)

michaelg said:


> At my house I get complaints it's too strong so I can't win!


Same no matter what the roast is my wife thinks I make it too strong, but she takes two sugar in her tea so that's probably why!!


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## Johnny Vertex (Jul 9, 2014)

Burnzy said:


> Mrs burnzy asked me to train her up.
> 
> I said. NO


Cool.....

I only let my wife near my machine to clean it... when it's not on of course... Then it's pristine condition for the next day..


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## Hoffmonkey (Apr 28, 2014)

Scotford said:


> Anyways, how the hell do you milk a soy bean when they don't have titties???


I actually spat down my front in an involuntary 'guffaw' when I read that. Very much to my sense of humours taste...


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## johnealey (May 19, 2014)

Glad to see everone avoided the inevitable nut milk reference.... oh no


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## Pyro (Jun 28, 2014)

Scotford said:


> Anyways, how the hell do you milk a soy bean when they don't have titties???


They do! It's like platform 9&3/4's at Kings Cross to get to Hogwarts. First you have to believe its there


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## Roger03 (Jul 17, 2014)

My room mate makes coffee like that!!!


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