# Strange but true (middle aged man wanted urgently !)



## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Might seem to be good to be true but my good lady is doing some marketing for a major retailer and she needs a little help so please read and let me know?

So who needs a make over?

Urgently need a man in his 40's for a full make-over and photoshoot for Asda Living magazine this Friday. Travel, lunch and expenses included, plus a top London barber for hair and face! This is a great opportunity for anyone that either just wants one, or someone that could benefit from getting their business in a national consumer title with a huge readership.

Willing volunteer needed today.

No this is not a scam or a joke, someone can genuinely have a makeover and is an excellent opportunity for any small business owner to get a little free PR.


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

Sighs Hasi...


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Hasi said:


> Sighs Hasi...


You are way too stylish!


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## Merkinglue (Mar 27, 2019)

coffeechap said:


> Might seem to be good to be true but my good lady is doing some marketing for a major retailer and she needs a little help so please read and let me know?
> 
> So who needs a make over?
> 
> ...


OMG, 40's is middle aged.

Does that mean I'm a dinosaur in my mid 50's?


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

coffeechap said:


> You are way too stylish!




ah I see, you should have mentioned hobo looks in your first post then... but I'll take it as a compliment.


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

Am I too young at 38 (39 next month)? I might be too portly having chunked back on a decent amount of weight since I last saw you. My hair and beard are out of control right now, so it might be a good canvas for them and I'm always open to exposure @coffeechap


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Merkinglue said:


> OMG, 40's is middle aged.
> 
> Does that mean I'm a dinosaur in my mid 50's?


Yes!


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

jlarkin said:


> Am I too young at 38 (39 next month)? I might be too portly having chunked back on a decent amount of weight since I last saw you. My hair and beard are out of control right now, so it might be a good canvas for them and I'm always open to exposure @coffeechap


Let me check joe as the hairier the better, are you free Friday?


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

Damn it 3 years past it, and I got my hair cut last weekend, I had to turn Vouge down last week as well &#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.feck

What you want is more of a Shane Macgowan type


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Could do with a sartorial makeover.


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

> Sighs Hasi...


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

it's only getting better!


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Just an update it would appear that out very own joe larkin will be getting a makeover, think we should get some before and after shots!


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

And reasonably good looking I imagine haha


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## igm45 (Mar 5, 2017)

coffeechap said:


> Might seem to be good to be true but my good lady is doing some marketing for a major retailer and she needs a little help so please read and let me know?
> 
> So who needs a make over?
> 
> ...


What about a man in his early thirties but looks like he is in his 40's?

Plus saving on hair as he has none!

Mind you no amount of a makeup would help.

Asking for a friend


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

Shame I'd just been to the barbers and been scalped... *sigh* There goes my modelling career


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## PPapa (Oct 24, 2015)

Rhys said:


> Shame I'd just been to the barbers and been scalped... *sigh* There goes my modelling career


Same! I'd only be eligible in 14 years time, though.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

igm45 said:


> What about a man in his early thirties but looks like he is in his 40's?
> 
> Plus saving on hair as he has none!
> 
> ...


Please see above @jlarkin is our Cfuk model!


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

jlarkin said:


> Am I too young at 38 (39 next month)? I might be too portly having chunked back on a decent amount of weight since I last saw you. My hair and beard are out of control right now, so it might be a good canvas for them and I'm always open to exposure @coffeechap


Gutted for you,hahahaha


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

PPapa said:


> Same! I'd only be eligible in 14 years time, though.


Similar here. Too young, and too female . . .


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## DavecUK (Aug 6, 2013)




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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

DavecUK said:


>


No need for any selfies!


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

MildredM said:


> Similar here. Too young, and too female . . .


And hopefully lacking a beard


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

coffeechap said:


> And hopefully lacking a beard


at least Ian made it point in the right direction, as we've learned recently...


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

coffeechap said:


> And hopefully lacking a beard


Let me just get my glasses (took them off to check the tyre pressures . . .

on my Zinner frame)


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

Watch that hip,haha


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Hasi said:


> at least Ian made it point in the right direction, as we've learned recently...


Were you spying


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

MildredM said:


> Were you spying


Ohh Matron!


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

MildredM said:


> Were you spying


as thread title suggests... strange but true


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Dammit. I just spent £35 on a haircut today too


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## All_a_Mort (Jan 28, 2019)

Scotford said:


> Dammit. I just spent £35 on a haircut today too


At least you still have hair to cut. These days I'm at the point of asking them whether they kept any of the hair they cut off in the past and could feasibly stick it back on.

Middle-aged at 40. Jesus, that just took the edge off the day. It's somewhat of a reality check to having been told I looked 30ish last week and my older sibling being asked for ID buying booze a month ago (of which event he has never been prouder or inclined to shut up about).


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

I'm past my mid 40's









On the plus side my haircut and beard trim cost me nowt... I ground some coffee and took it in for their filter machine. Waste not want not..


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

Scotford said:


> Dammit. I just spent £35 on a haircut today too


Mug.


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

Rhys said:


> I'm past my mid 40's
> 
> 
> 
> ...


]I'm past my mid 40's

I saw.


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Jony said:


> Mug.


That's what I was offered too, opted for a beer instead though.


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

Scotford said:


> That's what I was offered too, opted for a beer instead though.


haha plus if your paying £35 and only get a mug not a cup your in the wrong place.


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Jony said:


> haha plus if your paying £35 and only get a mug not a cup your in the wrong place.


Depends on your needs/wants


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

Given my age and hairdo this whole thread feels faintly ageist and baldist!


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Obnic said:


> Given my age and hairdo this whole thread feels faintly ageist and baldist!


Hey imagine how I felt being rejected as the stand in!


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## Obnic (Jan 14, 2014)

coffeechap said:


> Hey imagine how I felt being rejected as the stand in!


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Dave if you looked a bit more like your avatar you could've been in.

I was never in the running. Born too early, and although I might well pass for mid 40s (so they say) there's not much anyone can do to add style to a number 3 all over. Still, I've had my money's worth, bought a pair of Wahl clippers for £20 about 30 years ago and haven't paid for a haircut since. (Silence in the cheap seats please...)

___

Eat, drink and be merry


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

hotmetal said:


> Dave if you looked a bit more like your avatar you could've been in.


I always thought that was Dave.


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## DavecUK (Aug 6, 2013)

My avatar is the front of my roaster?

The photo is of someone much better looking than me, but with less teeth. In fact I avoid photos and video and hate it when I appear in the reflection of a machine, especially when I can't be arsed to reshoot something.


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

LOL! I meant CC... the dude abides... sometimes I think everyone on here is called Dave apart from me, Rhys, Joey, Glenn and Mildred. You don't look anything like the front of your roaster you'll be glad to know. Just as well they don't come mirror polished though! (Unlike the top of my head, back on topic)

___

Eat, drink and be merry


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Lololololololol ^^^^^^^^^^^^^


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

Jony said:


> ]I'm past my mid 40's
> 
> I saw.


Cheeky twat







you'll be my age in time..

Then how I'll laugh... Though I'll be standing there wondering what the hell I'm laughing at before going for a nice sit down and a cup of tea












coffeechap said:


> Hey imagine how I felt being rejected as the stand in!












Don't worry Dave.. maybe Asda's want to to showcase their latest cleaning products.









..can't take the pee though as I'm slowly catching you up.. I did say slowly


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

I think, on balance, I'd prefer to think of forum folk as being like their avatar . . . I mean, we've got Roger Moore, Che Guvarav and Homer Simpson . . . A Snake, a smart looking chap in a red tie . . . Yes, on balance . . .


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

MildredM said:


> I think, on balance, I'd prefer to think of forum folk as being like their avatar . . . I mean, we've got Roger Moore, Che Guvarav and Homer Simpson . . . A Snake, a smart looking chap in a red tie . . . Yes, on balance . . .


I'd better change mine quick then..


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

MildredM said:


> I think, on balance, I'd prefer to think of forum folk as being like their avatar . . . I mean, we've got Roger Moore, Che Guvarav and Homer Simpson . . . A Snake, a smart looking chap in a red tie . . . Yes, on balance . . .


Who has Che Guevara


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

coffeechap said:


> Who has Che Guevara


Hmmmm . . . Close relative, dude?


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## PaulL (May 5, 2014)

coffeechap said:


> Who has Che Guevara


I thought that too. Oh no, please don't say it's Russell Brandt?


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

PaulL said:


> I thought that too. Oh no, please don't say it's Russell Brandt?


I'm getting my eyes tested!


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## Drewster (Dec 1, 2013)

hotmetal said:


> s... sometimes I think everyone on here is called Dave.....


Rodney...... Shirley!


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## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Flippin heck am I the only one who saw The Big Lebowski and the Motorcycle Diaries and didn't think, hmm I wonder if they are the same guy?! In the unlikely event that someone pees on my rug I guess Che might be hard to hunt down. Especially if he's hiding under the pseudonym of Guvarav! 

I can't wait for Joe to reappear as Pop Larkin!

___

Eat, drink and be merry


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

This thread gloriously turned into something completely different


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Hasi said:


> This thread gloriously turned into something completely different


And no one got grumpy


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## ashcroc (Oct 28, 2016)

MildredM said:


> And no one got grumpy


Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwaves aren't Grumpy.


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

ashcroc said:


> Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwaves aren't Grumpy.


was that daves or dwarves?


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

Sorry to distract from the "hilarity".

As the official coffeeforums.co.uk model (new badge please @Glenn), I'll be taking part in this makeover today.

All being well I'll post on my Instagram that's https://www.instagram.com/cupperjoe/

during the day and something on here later as well.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

MildredM said:


> Hmmmm . . . Close relative, dude?


Oh my my the big lebowski aka the dude would be so dissapointed


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

Looking forward to some tips on man make up


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

jimbojohn55 said:


> Looking forward to some tips on man make up


I wonder why!,,


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## ashcroc (Oct 28, 2016)

jlarkin said:


> Sorry to distract from the "hilarity".
> 
> As the official coffeeforums.co.uk model (new badge please @Glenn), I'll be taking part in this makeover today.
> 
> ...


Good luck with the restoration!

Don't forget to bring some fudge with you. El might find a whole new revenue stream.


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

ashcroc said:


> Good luck with the restoration!
> 
> Don't forget to bring some fudge with you. El might find a whole new revenue stream.


Haha! Thanks.

She's on a maternity leave/break at the moment, so no fudge to be found .


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

Pit stop on the way. Good batch filter with 3 options, nice


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

coffeechap said:


> I wonder why!,,


asking for a chap I know


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

jimbojohn55 said:


> asking for a chap I know


That's just like " my friend needs advice"


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

coffeechap said:


> That's just like " my friend needs advice"


Well I said I would ask for you


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

Keep it light and natural basically, just you but better...


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

jlarkin said:


> Keep it light and natural basically, just you but better...


Right there is your new forum picture


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

jlarkin said:


> Keep it light and natural basically, just you but better...


We won't recognise you


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

MildredM said:


> We won't recognise you


Could be true of my daughter as well


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

who's this?!


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

Blimey, they've gone to town haven't they?


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Rhys said:


> Blimey, they've gone to town haven't they?


No chance, joes had his chest waxed


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

Haha


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

Rhys said:


> Blimey, they've gone to town haven't they?


How did you get this? They told me to keep it all under (chicken) wraps


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

Better photos would be coming but...

This to that.


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Oh. But . . . They shaved you


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

At least you have straight teeth, some are like a grave yard.


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

Ha!

No beardy mobile hipster coffee no mo'! For the next six months...

Looking fwd to them cover shots!!


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

Back,sack, crack next haha


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## Drewster (Dec 1, 2013)

Jony said:


> Back,sack, crack next haha


You mean to say that this isn't B,C&S???



jlarkin said:


>


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## ashcroc (Oct 28, 2016)

jlarkin said:


> Better photos would be coming but...
> 
> This to that.


How did they change your eye colour?


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

ashcroc said:


> How did they change your eye colour?


tattoo ink mate. Love hurts...


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

ashcroc said:


> How did they change your eye colour?


Just the light, my eyes are enchanting right


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

Drewster said:


> You mean to say that this isn't B,C&S???


The other members of the boy band


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Can we see a more . . . Um . . . Flattering, I think that's the word I'm looking for, photo?!!


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

MildredM said:


> Can we see a more . . . Um . . . Flattering, I think that's the word I'm looking for, photo?!!


It depends what you mean by flattering, I guess


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## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

You look sooooo different! In a good way


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

Is that even a smile, could be a Grimace,haha


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

The finished article was released today...

I think this is my favourite pic from it ? + PDF with more info attached









View attachment ASDAGoodLiving.pdf


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Great to see the little cuppa joe plug mate.


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## Jony (Sep 8, 2017)

Looks like a young version of Charles Manson,haha


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## jimbojohn55 (Jan 15, 2016)

Wow they took 5yrs off you easy - well done

That's your xmas cards sorted ?


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

jlarkin said:


> The finished article was released today...
> 
> I think this is my favourite pic from it ? + PDF with more info attached
> 
> ...


 Why is it 'I want to break free' is going through my head


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## El carajillo (Mar 16, 2013)

My first thought as well :good:


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

Rhys said:


> Why is it 'I want to break free' is going through my head
> 
> ﻿


 It was my first thought when I tried out shaving off the beard and leaving a moustache when I was about 18, makes sense most people seem to see it ?


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## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

Ha!
Great stuff mate  you keeping up with mowing the lawn to date?


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## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

Hasi said:


> Ha!
> Great stuff mate
> 
> 
> ...


 Not fully mown - oh sorry are we talking hair up there or down there? It's less tufty than the picture but all of my lawns could do with a little more care and attention to be honest.


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