# Depresso



## espressotechno (Apr 11, 2011)

" Depresso: The feeling when you've run out of coffee. "


----------



## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

Esprensive: The cost of our coffee addiction..


----------



## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

Crappuccino: a coffee made badly with bitter poorly extracted coffee and superheated ultra bubbly foamy milk.


----------



## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

Shat white: see Crappuccino (same drink different name)


----------



## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

Shatté: see shat white


----------



## Thecatlinux (Mar 10, 2014)

Impresso:

Quality of an extraction from a certain coffee lever machine

heypressto:

the magic of an extraction from a certain coffee lever machine

easepresso :

the ease of an extraction from a certain coffee lever machine


----------



## simontc (May 21, 2014)

Jealousso- the feeling individuals with some equipment have when looking at a certain coffee lever machine knowing its outside of their grasp


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Latte-farty :

Pertaining to, or having an interest in, decorating coffee-based beverages with blobs of foamed milk - often pretentiously and affectedly so.


----------



## Sk8-bizarre (Jan 22, 2015)

Lavazza:

A self-enforced restraint from indulging in bodily activities that are widely experienced as giving pleasure.


----------



## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Upgradology - the belief that a never ending cycle of new equipment purchases will eradicate any short fallings in the quality of coffee used and or Barista skills...


----------



## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Delusso - a belief that whatever piece of equipment we currently own MUST be the best thing ever ....


----------



## Jumbo Ratty (Jan 12, 2015)

Exhalo, , the sound emitted after a sip of a divine shot


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Pinocchio :

A shot that isn't anywhere near as divine as your Exhalo suggests!!


----------



## Beanosaurus (Jun 4, 2014)

Mupetto - The calamitous attempting of making a coffee.


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Dog Shot !!! :

A perfect espresso extracted by a dyslexic barista.


----------



## Lefteye (Dec 30, 2014)

Tamper- to mess with your coffee routine


----------



## Mr O (Jan 14, 2015)

Badrista - inept coffee bean and water blender (includes me some of the time)

read some as most


----------



## Jumbo Ratty (Jan 12, 2015)

Tamper Tantrum : The feeling you get when muppetry strikes during your prep


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Badwrista:

Form of repetitive strain injury that is associated with excessive tamper wielding.


----------



## Lefteye (Dec 30, 2014)

Wristretto - shot from a lever machine


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Poor-Over :

Not quite the brew you'd hoped for from your Chemex.


----------



## simontc (May 21, 2014)

Scold brew- the telling of you receive for purchasing new equipment without informing your other half


----------



## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Lefteye said:


> Wristretto - shot from a lever machine


Isn't that an Armaretto?


----------



## simontc (May 21, 2014)

Leave 'er machine- the time you spend ogling a certain machine, held back with a sense of better financial judgement


----------



## Lefteye (Dec 30, 2014)

The Systemic Kid said:


> Isn't that an Armaretto?


Depends on how strong you are


----------



## Lefteye (Dec 30, 2014)

Scold brew- what I did to myself when I forgot to put on the filter to an inverted aeropress


----------



## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Cappuccino: diminutive Franciscan monk (Capucin)


----------



## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Expresso: big chain coffee.


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

A Portless Bottom Filter :

An novel undergarment designed specifically for those with leakage issues.

Wear one and you need never be embarrassed by the Spritzers ever again!


----------



## NickdeBug (Jan 18, 2015)

Wow - more tortured puns here than the average 6.30 slot on radio 4.

But, if you can't beat them...

Rapaccino - freestylin' coffee, word

Doppio - the bit you have to pay for that would otherwise get thrown away


----------



## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Nespresso........


----------



## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Contralto: coffee that hits high notes.


----------



## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

Castrato - as contralto, but this coffee lacks balls.


----------



## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

Cafe au late - that coffee that you just didn't have time to make but did before leaving the house (often leading to muppetry).


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Screw-Ratio :

The weight of coffee grounds used to the weight of espresso in the sink.


----------



## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Affogato: sorry, what was that again?


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Sinkopation :

The process of disposing of unpalatable coffee.

This is normally but not exclusively, the byproduct of the dialling-in process.


----------



## simontc (May 21, 2014)

Starbucks- purveyors of unpalatable, yet exceptionally efficient, laxatives


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

simontc said:


> .........unpalatable, yet exceptionally efficient, laxatives


No problemo if you have........



> A Portless Bottom Filter :
> 
> An novel undergarment designed specifically for those with leakage issues.
> 
> Wear one and you need never be embarrassed by the Spritzers ever again!


----------



## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

mrboots2u said:


> upgradology - the belief that a never ending cycle of new equipment purchases will eradicate any short fallings in the quality of coffee used and or barista skills...


will it not?!


----------



## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

Is anyone an illustrator? Putting all these in a little paperback would make for a perfect (crap) xmas present for clueless SOs that know you're into coffee.

Worldwide, it would probably sell quite well


----------



## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

@espressotechno: A spasmodic style of dance manoeuvre executed to modern up-tempo beat music by conscientious revellers high on caffeine rather than Class A narcotics.


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

How do you guarantee yourself a good laugh whilst preparing coffee?

>

>>

>>>

>>>>

Get yourself a comical burr grinder!


----------



## simontc (May 21, 2014)

Memoirs of a geisha- the exultation offered to a coffee in its final few cups


----------



## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Long Black Coffee-time of the Soul?

"I don't go to Mythosical places with strange men."

Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul (Dirk Gently, #2)


----------



## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Caughtado

When your partner walks in to find you looking at grinder upgrades on t'internet.


----------



## Jon (Dec 3, 2010)

hotmetal said:


> Caughtado
> 
> When your partner walks in to find you looking at grinder upgrades on t'internet.


Or when they send an invoice in the box.


----------



## simontc (May 21, 2014)

Or when you forgot you told them a piece of equipment cost a much lower figure than the actual cost and proceeded to tell a friend said correct figure with partner I earshot


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Falsetto :


----------



## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Yuck! Fake Nescafe "expresso" (sic). Can you imagine what instant tastes like at that concentration?


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

Sprofanity :

A spontaneous outburst of foul and abusive language, from a home barista, during the preparation or consumption of espresso based beverages.


----------



## spune (Oct 3, 2011)

Compresso - when pulling a shot in a confined space.


----------



## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

Snakehips said:


> Sprofanity :
> 
> A spontaneous outburst of foul and abusive language, from a home barista, during the preparation or consumption of espresso based beverages.


Alternatively,

Sprofanity: eXXXpresso?


----------

