# Southern steamer vs Lancaster lever



## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

BOOM

Theres been rumble in the jungle - predator versus alien , David versus Goliath , dumb and dumber .

This will be the thread where myself and Daren will throw down our shapes , in a hip hop style , vinyl on floor. Friday the title of slightly less crap latte art incompetent will be decided .

Stay tuned for updates ....


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Essex geezer legend vs puss in boots


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

I've got my game face on..... Bring it on


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## garydyke1 (Mar 9, 2011)

The tie-breaker = left handed pour (or right handed if one of the contestants already is)


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## CoffeeDiva (May 9, 2013)

garydyke1 said:


> The tie-breaker = left handed pour (or right handed if one of the contestants already is)


Or bilateral simultaneous pour . . .


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

My money's on puss in boots.


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

CoffeeDiva said:


> Or bilateral simultaneous pour . . .


Or a macchiato pour.


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Kyle548 said:


> Or a macchiato pour.


WTF..... I can't even do a heart - I've got no idea what a macchiato pour is! Anyone recommend some good YouTube instructions?


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

CoffeeDiva said:


> Or bilateral simultaneous pour . . .


Now that's funny ,,,,,,,,


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

Daren said:


> WTF..... I can't even do a heart - I've got no idea what a macchiato pour is! Anyone recommend some good YouTube instructions?


I mean, pull a shot into a demitasse and then pour late art into the cup.

Technically, this wouldn't be a macchiato, maybe a macchiato latte?

Basically this.

Who ever can make a shape wins the tie break.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Kyle548 said:


> I mean, pull a shot into a demitasse and then pour late art into the cup.
> 
> Technically, this wouldn't be a macchiato, maybe a macchiato latte?
> 
> ...


Jesus this is getting complicated kyle, me and Daren can't even do hearts


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

It's never gonna go to a tie.... Trust me - I'M GOING TO SMASH HIM

(I'm now trying to intimidate him so he gets to nervous to perform - I'll try anything)


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> Jesus this is getting complicated kyle, me and Daren can't even do hearts


No one said the tie break needed to be easy


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Daren said:


> It's never gonna go to a tie.... Trust me - I'M GOING TO SMASH HIM
> 
> (I'm now trying to intimidate him so he gets to nervous to perform - I'll try anything)


Love it .......am off to hide behind the sofa


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

In the interest of a balanced view I thought I'd post both of these clips


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## 4085 (Nov 23, 2012)

I can do latte art, about once in a 1000 attempts. Some would say by accident of course but I do not agree.

  

  

These are two particularly striking examples of what you can achieve with 2000 pours


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

That top one is definitely an arse, quite fitting really


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## 4085 (Nov 23, 2012)

Maybe, but I took it from your photo of you and your equipment.........


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## Nijntje (Oct 2, 2013)

Wands at the ready...

Keep it clean lads.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

8pm tonight Daren. Are you ready?


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

I'm ready... Unlike your YouTube video that is private so I can't see it?


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> 8pm tonight Daren. Are you ready?


Genius , now I'm ready ......


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Now that is funny, come Essex boy show us what your made of


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Absolutely classic! Whatever happens later you have made a winning video. Had me laughing out loud like a mentalist.

If I wasn't at work I'd try and come back at this - but I'd get the sack if I did it now.

I did see this that I thought was appropriate though....

YOUR GOING DOWN - Grrrrrr

http://


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Ouch..........


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## garydyke1 (Mar 9, 2011)

Cant view these videos ? Are they rude?


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

The first one should not be viewed if your easily offended... It's obscene


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

garydyke1 said:


> Cant view these videos ? Are they rude?


Should be ok , I made my video public ......it's not obscene either !


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Only your opinion.... I was disgusted


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> 8pm tonight Daren. Are you ready?


Genius!!! Milk dumbells too!


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

Here is the control latte art.

This is a latte art produced with basic kit produced by someone who has only made the odd fleeting attempt at doing latte art in the past.

So, you guys should be able to beat it easily.


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## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> 8pm tonight Daren. Are you ready?


Hahahaha, milk dumbells. Brilliant!

Made my day









Thanks!


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Kyle548 said:


> Here is the control latte art.
> 
> This is a latte art produced with basic kit produced by someone who has only made the odd fleeting attempt at doing latte art in the past.
> 
> So, you guys should be able to beat it easily.


I could quickly go off you Kyle


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

Daren said:


> I could quickly go off you Kyle


What do you mean?


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## GS11 (Feb 20, 2013)

Daren said:


> It's never gonna go to a tie.... Trust me - I'M GOING TO SMASH HIM


Good luck Daren. Myself and the whole of the Essex and East London region are behind you.

Though, I am a little concerned at the 8 pints of practice milk in mrboots video!


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

GS11 said:


> Good luck Daren. Myself and the whole of the Essex and East London region are behind you.
> 
> Though, I am a little concerned at the 8 pints of practice milk in mrboots video!


Cheers for the support.... I need it! I thought I'd prepared well by buying 2 pints of full fat.... Only to return home tonight to find the misses had used one


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

Kyle548 said:


> Here is the control latte art.
> 
> This is a latte art produced with basic kit produced by someone who has only made the odd fleeting attempt at doing latte art in the past.
> 
> ...



View attachment 3978


Bit of undercard action:


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

My weapons of choice tonight....

Rocket Giotto Evo

15g VST

DSOL Barnraiser

NoNeutral cup

Rattleware Jug

Only 1 pint of milk

All the gear - No idea

I'm going to put the kids to bed then give it my best go. Good luck Boots - may the luckiest man win


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Dude I can't believe the grey devil is missing tutt tutt


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

jeebsy said:


> View attachment 3978
> 
> 
> Bit of undercard action:


How do you get such lovely coloured crema?

The dark stuff on mine is incredibly bitter.


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

coffeechap said:


> Dude I can't believe the grey devil is missing tutt tutt


Shhh - it's my secret weapon (it may well be illegal)


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

Kyle548 said:


> How do you get such lovely coloured crema?
> 
> The dark stuff on mine is incredibly bitter.


Dunno if I should be giving away my secrets but pour maybe 30mls of milk in and swirl it around before you start your pour proper - that helps to make it more golden.


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

jeebsy said:


> Dunno if I should be giving away my secrets but pour maybe 30mls of milk in and swirl it around before you start your pour proper - that helps to make it more golden.


I'm done for tonight anyway.

I'm having grinder troubles single dosing and my beans are too young anyway......


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

I've only got enough milk for 3 attempts.... Wish me luck - just starting my first one now. I'll post up the best one of my 3. Here goes


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Oh crap.... First one is a total disaster!


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Don't worry I've lost the plot completely


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Ha ha ha pressure is on lads come on d man


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

The real question is, are you producing 6oz drinks?


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Post each one up


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Fuck me I'm getting worse ....


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Ok apologies , I am clearly all hype........ This is my piss poor entry . Good luck Darren,I don't think you will need it


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

2nd attempt.... Milk was nice and smooth - my pour was shit...

My final roll of the dice coming up


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

NO!!!!!! Final attempt is going to have to be with skimmed milk - just knocked over the full fat stuff... The pressure is to much


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## Neill (Jun 26, 2013)

Love the tension.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Is it gone 8 yet.


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

If you can't beat that Daren then you don't even deserve to be on the forum


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Come on Darren where's the photo







...


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

This is like Rocky, all the odds are against Daren now...


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

coffeechap said:


> If you can't beat that Daren then you don't even deserve to be on the forum


Charming........


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

I was never renowned for my charm


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Boots wins by default as Daren is out of time


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

No am happy to wait for darens entry ( oooh er missus )


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

TKO seems harsh


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

coffeechap said:


> Boots wins by default as Daren is out of time


Maybe he's had to nip out and get more milk?


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)




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## GS11 (Feb 20, 2013)

urbanbumpkin said:


> Maybe he's had to nip out and get more milk?


or he could be 'slow steaming' his last shot


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Wait.... Wrong one... Hang on


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)




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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Ha ha . Where did my birthday wishes go


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## GS11 (Feb 20, 2013)

^^^ we have a winner


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## Nijntje (Oct 2, 2013)

I'll get back to you by nine x


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Oooooooooooooooooooo


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Boots... I've just seen yours - you f#cker! Well done


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Daren said:


> Boots... I've just seen yours - you f#cker! Well done


You too mate ,all good fun. Is this the X factor tho, why we waiting Til 9 !


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Mrboots2u said:


> Ha ha . Where did my birthday wishes go


Still there mate!


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Nijntje said:


> I'll get back to you by nine x


Nij - have I told you how beautiful you look in your profile photo?


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## Neill (Jun 26, 2013)

I'd say that's a close call. Could go either way. Good luck guys.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

My mrs just said to me - " well that's forty minutes of your life wasted isn't it " . Firstly at that point she hadn't even seen my effort at latte art ( if she had she may been correct ) , secondly she just watching two episode of eastenders back to back !


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Daren said:


> Nij - have I told you how beautiful you look in your profile photo?


Boots has to win now


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> she just watching two episode of eastenders back to back !


That is a dark place


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

I thought you only got Coronation Street up there?


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## Southpaw (Feb 26, 2012)

Good work both of you







I'm going to have a go now.


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

It's a copy on Betamax. Dirty Den is still in the ones that we get up here.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

If nothing else I hope the clip made people laugh


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

My wife says you should win just because of the clip... So much for loyalty


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

Great effort from both of you, better than I can do. I definitely need more practice


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Wheres the judge then ?


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## spune (Oct 3, 2011)

Well done, guys! I think there could be a tag-team style thing too


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> Wheres the judge then ?


Gary Barlows never this late.


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## c_squared (Jun 26, 2013)

This has been top drawer stuff guys, well done to all!


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

c_squared said:


> This has been top drawer stuff guys, well done to all!


Entertainment wise if not latte art wise , cheers though mate !


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## c_squared (Jun 26, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> Entertainment wise if not latte art wise , cheers though mate !


I personally don't see the point in being able to turn out consistently good pours. Half the fun is seeing what pattern comes out next and being able to claim rights on a fern when it's a triangle, a heart when it's a blob and a tulip when it's...well three blobs loosely stacked on top of each other!


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

You just saw 2 of my blobs.... The 3rd one wasn't even a blob! Abstract art.

What happened to Nij? Put us out of our misery


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

That's what happens when you flirt with her Daren, scared her off


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Story of my life


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

coffeechap said:


> That's what happens when you flirt with her Daren, scared her off


She's probably on the phone to the Police!


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Daren - MrBoots2u - Are you two an item now??


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

The Systemic Kid said:


> Daren - MrBoots2u - Are you two an item now??


Hey haven't you been playing with mr kids little lever today? Did you enjoy it sir, oh, suit you


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## Nijntje (Oct 2, 2013)

After much deliberation I have decided to award the title of "Least Crap Latte Art" to...








Mrboots2u









Simple point scoring system as follows...

Daren:

+1 for nice definition

+2 for creative use of props

-1 for attempting to curry favour with the judge

-1 for big bubbles

-1 for being a bit rude to Mrboots2u

Score = 0

Mrboots2u:

+1 for creative pre-match video banterage.

+1 for a couple of pretty shapes with definition.

+1 for coffee that looks yummy.

-1 for not showing whole name in shot

-1 for having more time to practice

Score = 1

Thank you for your lovely entries chaps









Here is your trophy Mrboots2u...










Sorry for my tardiness...


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

I feel a bromance has developed! Not sure if Boots feels the same?


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

coffeechap said:


> Hey haven't you been playing with mr kids little lever today? Did you enjoy it sir, oh, suit you


Couldn't possibly comment.......for what it's worth, I dress to the right - ooo.


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## urbanbumpkin (Jan 30, 2013)

Congratulation Mrboots. Hard luck Daren beaten by 1 point!


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## The Systemic Kid (Nov 23, 2012)

Daren said:


> I feel a bromance has developed! Not sure if Boots feels the same?


Think you both need to meet up - candle lit dinner at Watford Gap services maybe?


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## Neill (Jun 26, 2013)

I've enjoyed this friendly rivalry. Maybe we need to have a few more latte art throw downs!


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

A worthy winner... Congrats Boots. Why does my flirting always backfire!

Good fun all round. Thanks for being the judge Nij.


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## Nijntje (Oct 2, 2013)

Honoured Daren









Was fun!


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Daren said:


> A worthy winner... Congrats Boots. Why does my flirting always backfire!
> 
> Good fun all round. Thanks for being the judge Nij.


Bugger me I won! Cheers Daren great fun. Thanks for judging nij. Apologies to everyone else for the poor latte art !

Oh and

Chaz and Dave , Jim Davidson , pearly kings and queens , Shane Ritchie, the entire cast of East Enders . Your boy took a hell of a beating !!!!!!!!


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Neill said:


> I've enjoyed this friendly rivalry. Maybe we need to have a few more latte art throw downs!


Sounds like your throwing down a challenge! Any takers against Neill? Same time next Friday.....


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

I'd be up for it depending on the standard...got any pics of your previous efforts?

Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk


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## Neill (Jun 26, 2013)

Daren said:


> Sounds like your throwing down a challenge! Any takers against Neill? Same time next Friday.....


I think I'd probably just crack under the pressure. Impressed u guys held it together.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

When the pressure is off, I'm still crap







. Ill do it all again next week if there's a challenger lol


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## Neill (Jun 26, 2013)

jeebsy said:


> I'd be up for it depending on the standard...got any pics of your previous efforts?
> 
> Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk












That's my pretty poor standard. What have you got to match?


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Neill V Jeebsy.... 27th October FIGHT!


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

Think you might be a bit more advanced by gives me something to aim for.

Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk


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## Milanski (Oct 10, 2013)

Thoroughly entertaining fellas







Cheers!

Unlucky Daren, good attempt but congrats to Mr.Boots! A fine specimen...


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## Neill (Jun 26, 2013)

jeebsy said:


> Think you might be a bit more advanced by gives me something to aim for.
> 
> Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk


Looks like I'm in then!


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Daren said:


> Neill V Jeebsy.... 27th October FIGHT!


Yep Whoose judging ?


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## Neill (Jun 26, 2013)

I see a least crap latte art championship forming.


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

Should we get a load of names in the hat and do a knockout draw?

Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

I'm down for that.


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Mrboots2u said:


> Yep Whoose judging ?


We need someone impartial.... How about Glenn as he is from far away lands (if he's game?) Or maybe Bronc - isn't he from overseas?


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

If we're having a big knockout it might be easier to get one person to judge them all (Glenn would make sense) or we could have a separate thread for each battle with a poll and everyone would get a vote...


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## Kyle548 (Jan 24, 2013)

jeebsy said:


> If we're having a big knockout it might be easier to get one person to judge them all (Glenn would make sense) or we could have a separate thread for each battle with a poll and everyone would get a vote...


Maybe see if Glen is willing to set up a temporary forum for this?


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## spune (Oct 3, 2011)

I would be up for that too!


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Boots.... We've created a monster! :thumbup:


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## Neill (Jun 26, 2013)

jeebsy said:


> If we're having a big knockout it might be easier to get one person to judge them all (Glenn would make sense) or we could have a separate thread for each battle with a poll and everyone would get a vote...


I like the poll idea.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Jesus Daren , what did we start ?


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Don't challenge the new swede that just posted in free pour though


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## Neill (Jun 26, 2013)

Daren said:


> Boots.... We've created a monster! :thumbup:


More like a love child!


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

coffeechap said:


> Don't challenge the new swede that just posted in free pour though


Too good for my liking , but then again everyone is too good for my liking


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

Tried to start a new thread to judge interest but it's gone for moderation ...


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## coffeechap (Apr 5, 2012)

Mrboots2u said:


> Too good for my liking , but then again everyone is too good for my liking


Except Daren it seems


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

coffeechap said:


> Don't challenge the new swede that just posted in free pour though


I'd do him easy! I was only pretending to be crap to make Boots feel good about himself as it's his birthday tomorrow... Honest


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## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

coffeechap said:


> Except Daren it seems


Oooo - that hurts


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## jeebsy (May 5, 2013)

http://coffeeforums.co.uk/showthread.php?12494-Least-crap-latte-art-competition

Lets go folks....


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

The trophy needs to stay in the uk . Come on Gary and Callum we need someone to see of this Swedish bloke


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## garydyke1 (Mar 9, 2011)

dont get your hopes up lol.


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