# Ausie Hipster bafoons



## Daren (Jan 16, 2012)

Did anyone also see this and think "why?"

'Hipster coffee' gets Australia hot and frothing - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-36423824


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## Missy (Mar 9, 2016)

What's the water for?


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## Jacko112 (Oct 29, 2015)

Yeah I read that at lunchtime and thought the same - crazy antipodeans!


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## Lefteye (Dec 30, 2014)

I guess at least you can determine the ratio of water milk and coffee but seems like a waste of glassware to me


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## aaronb (Nov 16, 2012)

Saw it in the third wave wichteln group his morning, but unless we get a name for the cafe I don't believe it.


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## R6GYY (Nov 22, 2015)

Piffle.


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## Stevie (Nov 18, 2015)

Maybe i'm a hipster - i have no issue with this...


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## NickdeBug (Jan 18, 2015)

So,

a glass of espresso to wake you up

a glass of warm milk to help you sleep

and a cup of tea sans bag

Daft!


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

It must be a belated April fool item - the clue is in the last sentence:

She pauses and reflects for a split second, then adds: "I feel so ridiculous saying this."


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## Missy (Mar 9, 2016)

I suspect it must be like the daily mash/Southend news network stuff.


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Missy said:


> I suspect it must be like the daily mash/Southend news network stuff.


Or the very wonderful Poke:

http://www.thepoke.co.uk

The App version has brightened up many a dull meeting.


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Stevie said:


> Maybe i'm a hipster - i have no issue with this...


This. As long as it's labeled a deconstruct whatever I'd have no problem at all


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## Yes Row (Jan 23, 2013)

The latte art on top of the milk would be easy!


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

Think I posted a comment about someone should have a deconstructed dump in the toilets somewhere.. Poo on the seat, paper still left on roll and wee on the floor - leave them to put it all in the loo in the manor of their choosing


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## Yes Row (Jan 23, 2013)

I have a pub, they do already!!


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## NickdeBug (Jan 18, 2015)

deconstructed anything is so 2014


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## spune (Oct 3, 2011)

Next stage is to place beans/grinds on a piece of slate and serve with hot water.


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## dsc (Jun 7, 2013)

I reckon places which serve a pot of hot water with a tea bag has being doing this deconstruct malarkey for ages then?

T.


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## UncleJake (Mar 20, 2016)

spune said:


> Next stage is to place beans/grinds on a piece of slate and serve with hot water.


Or cold water, beans and an espresso machine/kettle in pieces.


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## dsc (Jun 7, 2013)

UncleJake said:


> Or cold water, beans and an espresso machine/kettle in pieces.


I call that self-service, not some deconstructed shite










T.


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## NickdeBug (Jan 18, 2015)

dsc said:


> I reckon places which serve a pot of hot water with a tea bag has being doing this deconstruct malarkey for ages then?
> 
> T.


you mean the USA?


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## dsc (Jun 7, 2013)

UK does it as well, or I simply keep going to some strange deconstructing places.

T.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

Well I think it's discusting .... Doesn't everyone know that a coffee shop should just have a house blend a decaf and s single guest bean, sell the typical 6 americanised drinks and have a pastry counter with muffins and Rasberry/White chocolate slices and flapjacks in it

its the only way .... Think of the children !!!!!


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Mmmmm, this:









or this:


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## aaronb (Nov 16, 2012)

Interview with the offending cafe:

https://www.broadsheet.com.au/sydney/food-and-drink/article/case-closed-melbournes-mysterious-deconstructed-coffee


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## dsc (Jun 7, 2013)

Deconstruct my ass, seems like a way to produce a lot of waste. Macchiato is pretty well defined drink, it's an espresso with a spoonful of milk, a long version would be the same with more water, you want more milk in it you get a flat white or an americano with milk. Why can't you just tell the person behind the counter what you want and get it done as you like it without anything being wasted?

T.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

What if you want it all in separate glasses ? .... Oooh, you could order this


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Well worth going to Melbourne for I think&#8230; just for that.


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## dsc (Jun 7, 2013)

Why stop there, heck what if I want the lactose from the milk in a separate glass and the crema from the espresso in a separate glass cause it's more hip that way. Go against the grain, go all the way.

Next time I order a cake in a cafe and it comes as a whole instead of flour, milk and eggs I'll be severely dissapointed.

T.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

Scones come with jam and cream separate ... Not all welded together like other cakes


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## DavecUK (Aug 6, 2013)

Deconstructed flat white served on a wooden plank, by a plank, to a plank. Looks like something from the master chef kitchen, to be honest they shouldn't let some of these people out from the dark rooms they inhabit.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

At least they are trying something different and not just producing the same old run of the mill drinks you find in every coffee shop ... Ooooh another flat white in a chunky cup.

i bet if a uk barista champion was selling it from his shop for £5 and calling it a signature drink, within 30minutes there would be a group buy on matching glass wear from cafe hipster in newzealand


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

It's different I'll give you that... If you look at it really closely though it is balls Though .


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## DavecUK (Aug 6, 2013)

Mrboots2u said:


> It's different I'll give you that... If you look at it really closely though it is balls Though .


As Cartman would say


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## spune (Oct 3, 2011)

h1udd said:


> Scones come with jam and cream separate ... Not all welded together like other cakes


But a 'flat white' is a named drink. A scone with a side jam, cream and etc. doesn't have a name in itself...


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## Missy (Mar 9, 2016)

It's apparently a long macchiato.


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Perhaps the next step will be going to a bar ordering a Bloody Mary them giving you a tray with all the shit on and going sort it out yourself.

Plus " long macchiato " sums it up ...

" What's your ideal dinner partner madam ?"

" giant midget "


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

Mrboots2u said:


> Perhaps the next step will be going to a bar ordering a Bloody Mary them giving you a tray with all the shit on and going sort it out yourself. "


like on an aeroplane ?


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

Yea aeroplanes - synonymous with quality food and beverages


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

oh I see, so high end establishments are expected to produce beverages at a different level of taste and theatre to the lower end food and beverage shops.

this was an artisan coffee shop wasn't it ? ... We should be glad the barista didn't press a button and assemble it in a giant cup


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## Mrboots2u (May 10, 2013)

I'm confused by this debate . I'll stick with my original opinion " it's balls "


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

h1udd said:


> oh I see, so high end establishments are expected to produce beverages at a different level of taste and theatre to the lower end food and beverage shops.
> 
> this was an artisan coffee shop wasn't it ? ... We should be glad the barista didn't press a button and assemble it in a giant cup


 It's a furniture and decor store with an attached coffee shop. That explains everything. It's still worth going to Melbourne for.


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## Phil104 (Apr 15, 2014)

Mrboots2u said:


> I'm confused by this debate . I'll stick with my original opinion " it's balls "


It is and that should be an end of it.


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

I've just had a brilliant, amazing idea!

A 'deconstructed' restaurant... p̶u̶n̶t̶e̶r̶s clientèle choose from the deconstructed menu (blank paper and pen), then have the task of using their own ingredients and expertly creating their own dishes in the kitchens whist having a chef shout obscenities at them, before sitting down to enjoy their meal in the seating area.

I could charge a fortune!


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## Drewster (Dec 1, 2013)

spune said:


> But a 'flat white' is a named drink. A scone with a side jam, cream and etc. doesn't have a name in itself...


Errrrrr I am pretty sure a "Cream Tea" would be recognised in a lot more places than a "Flat White" (or were you joking?)


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## dsc (Jun 7, 2013)

It's not a sig drink, its a short flat white split into three containers. If it was a genuine sig drink with something interesting I wouldn't have a problem, all this does is generate waste as I'm sure most customers will leave some of the milk or water.

I'm sticking with "balls". Yum.

T.


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## h1udd (Sep 1, 2015)

dsc said:


> It's not a sig drink, its a short flat white split into three .


Its only a short flat White if you assemble it such ... Could be an Americano if you left the milk out ..... Or a Starbucks latte if you left the coffee out

put a little pot of foam mushrooms by it and it could be Dave's sig drink from another thread







.... Although God forbid you leave a mushroom Nooooooooo


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## Dallah (Jan 31, 2015)

Story made it to BBC. Chefs have been deconstructing food for yonks. I think it is a stupid pretentious practice. I've paid for a meal not a meal kit. If I wanted to make my meal I'd do at home for much less.


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## Scotford (Apr 24, 2014)

Simple solution to all this deconstructed malarkey is if you don't like it, don't buy it. I'd give it a go.


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## UncleJake (Mar 20, 2016)

I think I agree with everyone here - which is the absolute opposite of the week I've had (jury service) - so a great relief.

Yes: it's nonsense - but it's harmless. A bit of fun that isn't hurting anyone. If it entertains or interests you in any way - why not.

If it doesn't - don't order it. Or if you see it as an option on a menu, call them witches and run screaming from the room. They'll be a place nearby selling exactly what you want (if not quite as good as you could make yourself).

They wanted to get us talking - they did. This is the busiest thread for a while.


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## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

Even IKEA serve their food ready plated up and drinks in the appropriate containers...


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