# The CFUK Christmas 2018 Advent Calendar!



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Christmas/Holidays/Gifting/Sprouts Day is coming!

Countdown to the big day with a festive edition of the

CFUK Advent Calendar!

To get us started here's December 1st through the rectangular window!










Top Tip: Make sure to break clumps and distribute your grinds thoroughly.
​


----------



## joey24dirt (Jan 28, 2017)

Yeeeeeesssss!! It's what Christmas is all about


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 2nd through the square (ish) window:










Accurate weighing is essential.
​


----------



## Chap-a-chino (Mar 31, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 2nd through the square (ish) window:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Only two decimal places? Sloppy!


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 3rd through the vertical window:
​










​


Top Tip: It's vital you use bottled water.
​


----------



## Stevebee (Jul 21, 2015)

MildredM said:


> December 3rd through the vertical window:
> ​
> 
> 
> ...


Very Del Boy!


----------



## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

Stevebee said:


> Very Del Boy!


Peckham Spring lol


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 4th:










Costa Shanghai's machine turns out 20,000 coffees a day.

It must take some keeping clean.
​


----------



## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

MildredM said:


> December 4th:
> 
> Costa Shanghai's machine turns out 20,000 coffees a day.
> 
> ...


Is that Starbucks? Also WHOA that's crazy!


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

jlarkin said:


> Is that Starbucks? Also WHOA that's crazy!


Yes, it IS SBs . . . Not sure why is said Costa!! Seems they were taking $65000 per DAY across the whole range of stuff when they opened. I bet there are plenty of Busy Little Men keeping very busy


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 5th:
​









The De-Luxe DIY Tamper Kit - a perfect Christmas gift.
​


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 6th:









​


Costa flat whites are going downhill fast
​


----------



## Paul K (May 11, 2018)

@MildredM - These are great


----------



## Inglorious Alf (Jul 2, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 6th:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Just looking at the custard/cottage cheese topping on that drink is mildly vomit inducing


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 7th:
​











Descaling on a budget.
​


----------



## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

MildredM said:


> Yes, it IS SBs . . . Not sure why is said Costa!! Seems they were taking $65000 per DAY across the whole range of stuff when they opened. I bet there are plenty of Busy Little Men keeping very busy


Busy little man on the coffee you say. Not from me I'm afraid, it was the Dhan the Don Tamang


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 8th:










MildredM took @Snakehips' suggestion for a naked pour video rather too literally.
​


----------



## Wolvesnev (Nov 11, 2018)

mildredm said:


> december 8th:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


lmao


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

MildredM said:


> December 8th:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is a rip-off or rather it isn't..... I want my money back!!!!


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 9th:










Instant Latte Art Kit - for the trainee barista in your life.
​


----------



## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 9th:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


is it at least edible or else supposed to dust the odd cup on the top shelf?


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 10th:
​










​


You saw it here first - it's a forum scoop.
​


----------



## Chap-a-chino (Mar 31, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 9th:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Wish i'd used this tip in the Latte Art Challenge.

These pics have been brill - thanks MM


----------



## Chap-a-chino (Mar 31, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 5th:
> ​
> 
> 
> ...


So that's how Joey makes them.


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Chap-a-chino said:


> Wish i'd used this tip in the Latte Art Challenge.
> 
> These pics have been brill - thanks MM


Thanks!! It's the 'little things' . . . I am chuckling at tomorrows already - I reckon it's nearly the best one yet


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 11th:
​









​


Hey! Can you keep the noise down.

I've got some beans resting over here.
​

​


----------



## Batian (Oct 23, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 11th:
> ​
> 
> ​
> ...


Those 'coffee middlemen', they are always in bed with someone.


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 12th:
​











We apologise for the interruption in service.

Our compiler is othwise engaged - studying the Latte art Pour-Down Rule Book.
​


----------



## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

Is that a Holy Bible in there?


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Hasi said:


> Is that a Holy Bible in there?


[email protected] no!


----------



## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

MildredM said:


> [email protected] no!


... but it comes close, judging by the title


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 13th:









​


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 14th









​


I reckon the barista in that new dog-friendly cafe needs some training.

I asked for a pour-over . . .
​


----------



## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

MildredM said:


> December 14th
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Better call Mary Flatwhitehouse then... walkies!

___

Eat, drink and be merry


----------



## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

MildredM said:


> December 13th:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That is totally one of Santa's new AI robotic elves enjoying a bit of winter sports, no?

___

Eat, drink and be merry


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 15th:










That's the trimmings up then.
​


----------



## Hasi (Dec 27, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 14th
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Think you walked into a paw shop rather than a cafe... not a purrista but a grrrrista that is.


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 16th:










Don't expect to win every time.
​


----------



## Inglorious Alf (Jul 2, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 16th:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Haha this is me all too often. I tell myself it's because I stretched the milk so perfectly it was just a little too much for the cup


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 17th:










With only days to go until the big day, Santa reminds Elf how to spot a Chinese knock-off.

*Today's advent window was sent in by a viewer. Please address any complaints you may have to the contact details at the foot of the page and remeber to mark your envelope Snake-Ban.
​


----------



## jlarkin (Apr 26, 2015)

MildredM said:


> December 14th
> 
> 
> 
> ...


CanIne interject here? OMD (Oh My Dog) - must be barking up the wrong tree going to that place. That's literally a paw show. It's really going to put your hackles up, getting the wrong drink, if you're dog tired, or maybe bone tired you might end up at the end of your lead wondering what to do next.


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 18th:










What to buy the machine that has everything.
​


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 19th:










Anyone for squabble?
​


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 20th:
​











I'm dreaming of a flat white Christmas.
​


----------



## iroko (Nov 9, 2012)

MildredM said:


> December 20th:
> ​
> 
> 
> ...


Has it been knocked out by the Niche.


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

iroko said:


> Has it been knocked out by the Niche.


No! It fainted !!!


----------



## hotmetal (Oct 31, 2013)

That's conic, er I mean comic genius!

___

Eat, drink and be merry


----------



## Shaf (Dec 4, 2018)

These are fantastic. Love it. Thank you.


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 21st:










Anyone for squabble!
​


----------



## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

MildredM said:


> December 21st:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Haha. you've done that one (19th







)


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Rhys said:


> Haha. you've done that one (19th
> 
> 
> 
> ...




December 21st:










What a drip!
​


----------



## Chap-a-chino (Mar 31, 2017)

Rhys said:


> Haha. you've done that one (19th
> 
> 
> 
> ...


must be a rematch!


----------



## Snakehips (Jun 2, 2015)

You got 'em M !!!!!!!


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 22nd:









​


----------



## Inglorious Alf (Jul 2, 2017)

I genuinely laughed at loud at this.


----------



## richwade80 (Aug 25, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 22nd:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


So when you crack out the Nescafé... or Maxwell House, which incidentally I thought would be a hilarious name for Maxwell Colonna's establishment... I digress... do people:

A) believe they are getting coffee from your plethora of machinery, probably chortling to themselves afterwards. 'What a waste of money... it tastes like Nescafé!'

B) have no clue what all that shiny stuff in the kitchen is for?

C) ever work out that they have been swindled?


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

richwade80 said:


> So when you crack out the Nescafé... or Maxwell House, which incidentally I thought would be a hilarious name for Maxwell Colonna's establishment... I digress... do people:
> 
> A) believe they are getting coffee from your plethora of machinery, probably chortling to themselves afterwards. 'What a waste of money... it tastes like Nescafé!'
> 
> ...


D) they say how wonderful the coffee tastes and how it's much better than their instant!!!


----------



## richwade80 (Aug 25, 2017)

MildredM said:


> D) they say how wonderful the coffee tastes and how it's much better than their instant!!!


Some people shouldn't be allowed to vote... just sayin'


----------



## Rhys (Dec 21, 2014)

On standby in case Mildred decides to visit.. Only the best here


















​


----------



## grumpydaddy (Oct 20, 2014)

How to make it taste better still....


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 23rd:










Today's as good as any to get the exercise machine out.
​


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

December 24th:










Hmmmm . . . I'm getting tomato. Is it a Kenyan . . .
​


----------



## Chap-a-chino (Mar 31, 2017)

MildredM said:


> December 24th:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


One of 57 varieties methinks!


----------



## Shaf (Dec 4, 2018)

Chap-a-chino said:


> One of 57 varieties methinks!


It is one of your 5 a day


----------



## MildredM (Feb 13, 2017)

Christmas Day!!










Away in my kitchen, an old box for a bed,

A wondrous skateboard tamper laid down its sweet head.

The coffee beans came to see him, gifts from a far,

Fruity notes of cherry, and chocolate hints of Mars Bar.

The two old wise grinders, with their mate the PuqPress,

Gathered round the tamper and made quite a mess.

The static was flowing, causing grinds to spurt out

Which amused our mate Snakehips but caused me to shout:

'Look what you're doing, don't you mess on my floor!'

So I unplugged them all and showed Snakey the door.

I logged on to the forum to take a well earned break,

To check on my post count, and how much a Monolith would make.

Stopping off in the funnies thread, posting comments left and right.

Organised another throw down, and banned Snakey out of spite.

I could go on and on, with verse after verse,

Each one a little longer and probably much worse.

But I will shut up for now and wish you good tidings and joy -

Whilst I plan my next purchase of a shiny new toy.

Happy Christmas one and all








​


----------



## Drewster (Dec 1, 2013)

Merry Chrimbo all - Here's to a great New Year!!!


----------



## Chap-a-chino (Mar 31, 2017)

MildredM said:


> Christmas Day!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Merry Christmas MildredM and thanks for all your contributions. Your creativity and good humour is unsurpassed and these advent pics have been brilliant!


----------



## Deidre (Aug 13, 2019)

Oh my, this was a terrific & laugh-out-loud funny advent calendar! I read it just now, a year late! I am hoping more will arrive on December 1, 2019... waiting with great anticipation!☺


----------

